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Sex Appeal: More sex please, we're British!
Months ago our ambassador Zoe Margolis had the idea of putting on a comedy night in aid of Brook. On Friday, after months of hard work, favours and commitment from many people that idea became a ‘pinch yourself it's not a dream’ reality at the Bloomsbury Theatre in London. With a stellar line up of guests equal to, and better than, any you would see at Edinburgh Festival ‘Comedy Best of the Fest’, ‘Sex Appeal: More Sex Please, We're British’ was a fantastically funny evening. As one person said on twitter at half time, “at comedy sex, it’s half time and my sides ache already.”All the comedians gave their time free of charge to challenge through comedy any negative attitudes about sex, sex and relationships education, and to help Brook raise funds to carry out our campaigning work. More information from the evening will be available at http://www.brook.org.uk/ in the coming weeks.
As well as making us laugh throughout the evening, beforehand each of the comedians told Brook why they support our work to make sex and relationships education relevant for the 21st Century (if you haven't signed our petition please do so at http://www.sexpositive.org.uk/).
The host Al Murray, The Pub Landlord, said: “Sex ed is important because it's something that's personal but that can impact on other people as well. The more you know, the better equipped for life you are.”
Helen Arney, a musical comedian said: “Good sex ed is about more than just educating, it's about young people finding out about the difference between truth and fiction. If I had to be young again (a horrible thought) I'd want my first introduction to sex and relationships to be from someone who knows what these things actually are, and not fifth-hand garbled gossip from Stacey whispered under coats at breaktime. Good sex education sticks, but so does all the wrong stuff about sex if it gets there first. If I still believed everything Stacey said, because no-one had told me otherwise, I'd still think the word 'dude' means 'elephant dung'. Which it does. Right Guys?”
David Baddiel, known by many for The Mary Whitehouse Experience, said: “I'm very keen on the idea of sex education for children particularly as it means I don't have to talk about it to my own children. I also think it may have moved on since I was in school where it consisted almost entirely of diagrams that could easily be mistaken for the opening credits of Dad's Army.”
Musical comedian Mitch Benn, hit the nail on the head, “Sex education is important because sex is important and education is important. It's importance squared, if you will. I wish I'd had some, I might be better at it.”
We were warned that it doesn't pay to take offence at comedy by San Franciscan actor and comedian Scott Capurro. About sex education he believes, “More should be taught. I received a scattered rather toothy blowjob in Rome and the scabs are still healing.”
Richard Herring warned of setting traditions in relationships if they cannot be future proofed and told us, “Sex is important and education is important, so sex education is doubly important. No one worries that if we teach children history that they will go out and start wars – we hope that given the facts they might learn to behave more responsibly. So let's give them the facts about this vital and joyful part of being alive, because most problems regarding sex grow out of ignorance and secrecy.”
Robin Ince took many on a trip down sex education memory lane with his reading of the Giant Crabs, “The vast majority of evidence I have seen makes it clear that educating young people does not turn them into crazed sex devils rutting in alleyways but actually cuts down on behaviour that enrages the censorious. Of course it does, once young people find out how disgusting and pointless sex is they can get back to reading books in the library.”
About sex education Shappi Khorsandi told us, “We need to allow young people to be more open and honest about their thoughts and feelings about sex. Early sex education keeps dialogue open and information flowing so young people can make mature, informed decisions.”
Mathematician and comedian Matt Parker left a few of us at Brook red faced when he pointed out early in his show that Brook had some of our Maths wrong but we remain together on sex ed, “Just telling young people what they should and shouldn't do is counterproductive. They need to make up their own minds and the skills to rationally analyse new information as they stumble across it on the internet. This is what good sex education should provide.”
Jay Rayner, son of the leading sex educator, Claire Rayner told us, “I was raised in a household where sex education was the family business; was taught from a very early age that sex only becomes a problem when people don't talk about it. And that's a lesson every generation has to learn. Good sex education isn't a luxury. It isn't a privilege. It's a basic human right.”
Kate Smurthwaite, political comedian and feminist activist said, “Understanding how our bodies work is a fundamental human right. For our young people to grow into sensible adults who can make wise decisions about their sex lives they must first understand what is there and how it works, in terms of reproduction, in terms of risk and in terms of pleasure. These should be non-negotiable components of the National Curriculum, taught without fuss or debate as soon as children are old enough to understand them – and well before they begin puberty.”
Writer and comedian Catie Wilkins was clear, “I think sex ed is important for young people so that they can make balanced and informed decisions about one of the most crucial areas of life. Forewarned is for-armed'.”
As well as being the first big laugh of 2012, the event had a serious point to make – we fail young people if we do not provide them with high quality, evidence based and accurate sex and relationships education – and some serious funds to raise to help Brook with our continued campaign to ensure we have sex and relationships education fit for the 21st Century.
I owe enormous thanks to everyone who made the evening happen, and who gave up their time and skills freely to do so – first off Zoe Margolis for having the idea and vision and turning it into reality with her friends and colleagues who helped with the website www.comedysex.org (Ian Dickerson), with stage management (Kirsty Chestnutt and James Knight) and with promotions, also thanks to photographer Elliott Franks. Thanks to Al Murray for hosting the evening and to all the comedians for giving their time and for making us laugh. Thank you.
Thank you to our sponsors and supporters; PSUK, Mates SKYN, Sh! Women's Erotic Emporium, MOO.COM, Chinawhite, CM Print and Sparkloop.
And finally thank you to all the Brook staff who volunteered to help; Joy, Natalie, Sian, Lisa, Rachael, Josina, Mariana, Daniel and Glen. Particular thanks to those who worked so hard they didn't even get to see the show. Photos of the evening can be found here and you can also follow the conversation on Twitter using #comedysex.
Follow Brook on twitter @brookcharity; @besexpositive or follow me @simonablake
Goodbye 2011: Hello 2012
It hardly seems conceivable, or indeed bearable that a year ago today I was frantically piecing together my fancy dress outfit for NYE. Whilst most things around us are changing rapidly, some things remain - true to form I have left it until the last minute to get my costume ready again. Ushering in the new year it is important to reflect on the successes and the disappointments of the year gone by as well as look to the opportunities and challenges of the year ahead.Some of Brook's key successes this year have been;
Making the transition to become one unified organisation in April - the energy, commitment and determination of managers and trustees from the 16 organisations that made up the Brook Network was awesome through the review that led to a decision to change our constitution. This was critical to ensuring a smooth transition.
Any organisational change of this size requires all of us involved to look at things differently and to change our world views. And through this transitional year I have appreciated enormously the support and challenge of colleagues - trustees, managers and staff - to keep us on track and make sure that different perspectives are understood. And amongst all the internal change, business as usual has continued, continuing to secure and contracts and funding so we can provide education and services across the country to those young people who need them most.
If I was to have the last 8 months again, there would be many things I would do the same, and there would of course be things I would do differently. But what I still know to be true is that Brook people remain determinedly focused on young people - developing creative and innovative responses to their needs in the face of major internal and external change. And I appreciate this commitment and professionalism enormously.
This year we launched a formal collaboration with FPA over the year, and this partnership has allowed us to focus our resources effectively, reducing duplication and maximising our expertise. I look forward to continuing this exciting collaboration in 2012 which includes the first ever UK Sexual Health Awards on March 15th 2012 - find out more at http://www.brook.org.uk/
At the same time we have been a loud and vociferous voice in support of relationships and sex education - as part of our Sex: Positive campaign developed by our young volunteers, we launched the 21st Century SRE campaign which has already got over 2200 supporters including boyband JLS. If you haven't already you can sign up at http://www.sexpositive.org.uk/ As someone who disagrees vehemently with me about the importance of RSE said in a recent [heated] phone call, 'like what you and your organisation stand for or not I have to say your views have really been loud and clear this year.'
It was fantastic again this year to see the sustained reduction in teenage pregnancy rates when the data was published for the final year of the previous government's strategy. Evidence that we do know what works, and that if you get all the elements right including support for parents, SRE in schools, access to contraception and effective youth provision then teenage pregnancy rates can and will fall.
And given that a central plank of success in reducing teenage prenancy is good education it is so disappointing that progress on getting Relationships and Sex Education a normal everyday part of school life has slowed. The politicisation and polarisation of ideas and views about RSE have been disappointing. We know the consensus in support of RSE remains - most young people, parents and professionals support RSE, and we must ensure that we trust that consensue when some media are deliberately misleading and shrill in their approach. I was unhappy that the government launched the PSHE Education consultation with a closed mind about whether any changes are needed in legislation to improve RSE, particularly when we thought we had been so close to securing a statutory entitlement for all children and young people.
Similarly the politicisation and polemic about abortion, particularly counselling for women considering or seeking an abortion was of great concern this year. Brook of course supports any measure to improve the quality of counselling and support women facing an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy face, we wait with interest to see the government proposals about counselling for women facing a pregnancy choice. But lets be very clear the rhetoric that independent abortion providers have a vested interest in 'pushing women towards abortion above all other pregnancy choices' is offensive to women's ability to make decisions and choices and quite simply untrue. I fully respect people's right to feel morally opposed to abortion. However I cannot respect any drive to limit women's choices and access to services or to influence their decision about abortion with misinformation. We know from evidence from around the world that where abortion access is denied or limited it does not stop abortion, it pushes the procedure underground, making it stigmatised and unsafe. We need only look to Northern Ireland to see how difficult antiquated laws make it for women who want to have an abortion.
As we look to 2012 we know what works and we know there is an economic case for investing in education and services that can see an immediate, and often in year, return on investment. And we know the shifting responsibility for Public Health to Local Authorities could provide new opportunities to think holistically about young people, health and well being.
But there will be challenges: history shows us that when money is tight spend often moves from prevention and early intervention to 'treatment' or unavoidable costs. As a commissioner or a finance director if you are not responsible for the 'treatment' costs and the primary job is to balance the book how do we ensure investment is maintained in the best interest of young people's sexual health? The shift of responsibility for Public Health to Local Authorities will also inevitably be challenging through the transition, and some of the sexual health expertise will undoubtedly be lost.
Sir Stephen Bubb has just sent through his top tips for ACEVO members for 2012 - they were
Look after yourself
Get your personal leadership plan nailed
Stay positive in the face of adversity
Messages that all of us, whatever our role and wherever we work, in the public, private or voluntary sector will do well to take heed of. As a colleague said last week, 2012 won't be easy for young people and sexual health. So let it be the year we look after ourselves and remain committed to our personal and professional development, stay positive in the face of challenge and consistently speak out in support of young people's sexual health and sexual rights. With ever increasing pressures on finances, major change in the health system, a small number of loud voices who oppose young people's sexual rights, and the increased determination of local priorities it will be the confidence that comes with over 45 years experience at Brook that will enable us to keep young people's sexual health on the agenda.
I am proud that i can say with complete and utter confidence that our teams across the country will strive day in day out to deliver the best quality services and education for young people; to be a loud and confident voice in support of young people's sexual rights and advocates and champions for the change we want to see.
Goodbye and thank you 2011, hello and welcome 2012. Right time to get that fancy dress sorted.
You can read more about the difference Brook makes and at http://www.brookannualreview.org.uk/
Follow Brook on twitter @brookcharity; @besexpositive or follow me @simonablake
'look after rabbits', SRE and sexual exploitation
Since I last blogged here I have a new addition in my family; a blue staffordshire bull terrier puppy who is quite simply adorable. It is the first time I have had a dog as an adult. This experience is connecting me to how much I learnt about care, responsibility and love from having animals as a child - from my first 'look after rabbit' brought home in the school holidays; the night we found my first cat knocked over at the side of the road; and the mornings I really didn't want to get up to do the horses and relied heavily on mum and dad to help me out.Over the last few weeks there has been lots of exciting campaigning work at Brook - we launched the Say Yes to 21st Century SRE campaign - if you haven't signed our petition please do so at www.sexpositive.org.uk - we will be submitting this as part of our response to the government's PSHE review consultation. It was an interesting experience doing the media work for the campaign. For the first time ever in 15 years of being involved in this work and doing media around it, the overwhelming majority of journalists, listeners and those who phoned in to join the discussion were absolutely supportive of 21st Century SRE and couldn't believe that we are still in a position where SRE is patchy and largely down to the discretion or enthusiasm of individual schools. Sunday Morning Live was one exception to this, but the less said about that here the better. Unfortunately polemic debate in this area still appeals to a few and some political debates on this issue seem far removed from reality, but it is important to remind ourselves the majority of young people, parents and professionals agree SRE is important. And whilst our small campaigning team have been working hard to create the campaign, day in day out across Brook all our teams are working hard to create the social change we need to enable young people to enjoy their sexuality without harm.
Last Monday I spent some time on reception at Brook in Manchester learning more about exactly what happens when a young person walks through the door in Manchester. The skills of the people in putting the young people at ease and ensuring they got what they wanted were quite remarkable. So too was the thought that goes into making the waiting room reflect our values, and using the waiting time as an educational moment whilst the young people wait to be seen. Even tying in the education with a Halloween theme. Whilst on reception I also learnt that some glow in the dark condoms need to be near a light to glow.
On Monday this week I met with the Office of the Children's Commissioner who are doing an inquiry into sexual exploitation (find out more at their website), and on Tuesday spoke at a conference for Public Health Trainees alongside a colleague from NSPCC. I was struck yet again at both of those meetings that if we are going to really deal with exploitation and abuse we have to get to grips with and change our peculiar culture towards young people, sex and sexuality. Unless all young people learn about and understand consent and have the skills and confidence to assert themselves in relationships, to really take control of their lives and their choices then we will never be able to get on top of and deal effectively with sexual abuse and exploitation in all its forms. Even though abuse and exploitation is still a horrid taboo for many, sometimes when people do address it it seems too easy to go straight to the abuse and exploitation end of the spectrum and not connect it to our wider culture about sex and relationships.
Of course getting SRE consistently right across all schools in the country, starting at primary age will not be a universal panacea but it is a first step in demonstrating we are a country that has a grown up and mature approach to young people and their developing sense of themselves and their sexuality and an opportunity to help all children understand safe and unsafe touching and ensure they know they can and must ask for help if they are being hurt. All professionals working with young people must know about and recognise the signs of exploitation. At Brook in Blackburn they run a training course for professionals TEASE - Telling Everyone About Sexual Exploitation - vital if we are going to break the taboo.
Yesterday I was also privileged in my role as Compact Voice Chair to be part of the Annual Compact Awards. Partnership working across the public and voluntary sector is even more important now with less money to ensure the best outcomes for communities. Some really innovative and impressive approaches. Whilst there I got the chance to thank John Plummer from Third Sector who as part of a recent interview with me described my role at Compact Voice talking about partnership and my day job at Brook dealing with chlamydia as both lacking glamour. Luckily I find both interesting, vital, rewarding and challenging, if not glamorous!
I also went to the launch of Diversity Role Models a new charity set up by the wonderful Suran Dickson. Hosted by John Bercow in Speakers House which he has 'opened up' to support important issues speakers included the Home Secretary Teresa May and Roger Crouch - Stonewall's Hero of the Year, and father of Dominic Crouch who killed himself last year aged 15 after being bullied. The premise underpinning Diversity Role Models is simple and its simplicity is its genius; taking straight and gay role models into school and talking about bullying and equality and creating a visibility of gay sexuality. I spoke to one of the role models about his experience of going into school and he simply described it as 'humbling and important'. He said the young people were engaged and interested, challenged and challenging. He felt it made a difference.
Sue Sharpe almost a decade ago wrote about the need for visibility of homosexuality within schools if we are to wipe out homophobia. Diversity Role Models helps provide just that and I wish them much success. You can follow them on twitter @DiversityRM and you can follow me on @simonablake - I confess I often retweet others, and less often say too much myself so @brookcharity and @besexpositive are ones to follow too.
Finally please do sign the petition for 21st Century SRE at www.sexpositive.org.uk
Let's get 21st Century Sex and Relationships Education
At Brook young people have been telling us for decades they want better sex and relationships education and today The Guardian has published an article - http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/oct/10/how-good-is-sex-education - following a new survey carried out by Brook, that shows that not enough has changed.Last night I was talking to a friend who is staying with us at the moment and she asked the straightforward question, 'what is all the fuss about'. And when you try and answer it, that is the question - we have to stop talking about whether to provide it, and instead move to how to do it - consider how we ensure teachers up and down the country are well trained and supported to provide young people with the sort of sex and relationships education they want, deserve and will need if they are to navigate the path from puberty, through adolescence and into adult with confidence and joy.
I feel like I am in a bit of a timewarp when it comes to SRE - the same debates rehearsed predictably often and we want to stop that circle and move on. Young people say they want good quality SRE, parents overwhelmingly support school SRE and professionals also support SRE because they know that young people need help and support to understand their bodies, their emotions, relationships and develop the skills to manage their lives. Indeed successive Government's point to its importance. Having been involved in this work for over 15 years, I and many others who have also been on this journey want to see a step change in commitment to SRE, and ask Government to mandate and support schools to deliver. I still believe that statutory SRE across the key stages is the best route to go down, but as I have said many times before as long as every child gets their entitlement to SRE to help them be confident, happy and safe I don't actually care what mechanisms are used to achieve SRE fit for the 21st Century.
This is a once in a decade opportunity to influence policy makers and parliamentarians make the changes all the evidence tells us are needed. We want to make sure the voices of the overwhelming majority who support SRE are heard. Help get this sorted once and for all. Visit www.sexpositive.org.uk and sign our petition to UK Parliament to create SRE fit for the 21st Century. Please help us spread the word - blog it, tweet it, talk about it so Brook can work with partners to make young people, parents and professional voices heard in the PSHE Review. We will be blogging and tweeting facts from the survey throughout the week - please join in the conversation.
Please take five minutes to help us achieve 21st Century Sex and Relationships Education - www.sexpositive.org.uk
On being young and 'youngpeopleiphobia'
I don't know whether I have a mid life moment coming on, but I tend to think a lot about age. A few weeks ago Miranda Sawyer wrote about being middle aged in the Observer. There are not many articles that I read more than once, but this one struck a chord. You can find it here http://bit.ly/nD986LBut thinking about age is not new, I have often written here about the importance of remembering what it feels like to be young - real empathy with and understanding about the realities of young people is an outstanding quality of Brook staff that I see time and time again as I visit Brook Centres.
On a day to day basis, like most people I don't feel too different than I did when I was in my mid 20s. Yet more and more I look in the mirror and am surprised to see my Dad looking back at me. There are tell tales signs that I am no longer 18; fast onset of greying hair, my increasing love of celebrating Friday with a quiet night in, rather than a night of partying that ends at dawn, I constantly check my watch if out in the week to ensure I am home before 10.30. These little things have all crept up on me without even noticing mostly.
We do however need to think and talk about age. We need to be clear what our offer is for young people in the UK. I want young people to be young. I want young people to have a chance to influence decisions that affect them, and I want young people to be treated like they are young - not in a patronising way but in a way that recognises a 15 year old should not have the same responsibilities as they likely will later in life. I know that circumstances mean that some young people - those who are carers for example - do have responsibilities and it is vital that they also are given the support to fulfil these, and the space to be young.
When I think about age a lot it is triggered by memories - in the last 48 hours I had a phone call from a friend I haven't seen for 20 years; on thursday friends I went to Ibiza with over a decade ago have gone again - I will never know on balance whether I am deeply envious or deeply relieved I said no. I know how tiring it is. Yesterday I cycled past the old site where our favourite club in Kings Cross - The Cross - used to be and smiled to myself remembering how wonky I often felt when we left. This morning I have been planning for our trip to Cornwall later this month with my group of friends who spent much of our late teens, twenties and thirties together. And as I have been planning I have reflected a bit on how our lives have changed and developed. How responsibilities and roles have shifted - as friends, partners, employees, partners, uncles and aunts.
I don't write this to be self indulgent but to reflect on what we want for our young people. At Brook we know that how young people's experiences of being loved and cared for and allowed to realise their rights impacts on how they manage their relationships and sexual choices. We also know that most young people want to be and are responsible.
There has been lots of talk of how young people are going wrong in the post riot weeks and the importance of instilling responsibility in young people. I agree with the premise of responsibility, and at the same time I worry about some of the suggested means to do so. I am a responsible active citizen. I want to contribute to making things better. But that was not instilled in me with hefty discipline or ASBOs. It was through being loved and cared for, having an extended family that introduced expectations, created boundaries and told me clearly when I had crossed the line. Through having the opportunity to take risks and (often) get hurt because I took them. It happened because I was allowed to be young - not treated as a child, but not expected to be a 'fully fledged adult' either, and it happened most of all because I had the opportunity and the encouragement to do things I wanted to do and to achieve. All young people deserve this.
Over the last few weeks I have been discussing the riots with people I count as socially liberal. The riots, or more probably the reporting of them, have sparked a deep belly anger in many of these people and specifically soured their views of young people. And some seem to have lost their skills of discernment, failing to recognise this was a small minority of young people (with adults) and that the majority of young people were not involved. I hope the post riot analysis takes us to the root causes of the problems and as a country we think carefully about what our offer is for young people. Without a firm offer for all young people that we make sure we deliver on, even without a crystal ball I predict further unrest. Worse than that, too many young people will not have the chance to be young and create a happy memory bank and learn vital skills to manage their lives now and in the future.
The government is currently consulting on its Positive for Youth initiative - find out about it and respond here - http://bit.ly/q673GQ.
If you, like me, think being young should be the time of your life please stand up for young people and continue challenging the negative perceptions and assumptions that underpin one of the socially acceptable prejudices of our time - 'youngpeopleiphobia'.
Chlamydia screening - tell us what you think
If you are under 25, or work with people under 25 Brook needs your help! We have been commissioned by the National Chlamydia Screening Programme to seek young people's views on chlamydia screening. This is an important opportunity to ensure young people's views are heard in the next phase of development - so if you are under 25 please click on the link below and get your voices heard, and if you work with young people please can you disseminate this as far and wide as you can visit the Brook website or go straight to the survey here
'I will never forget how kind the Counsellor was'
Last weekend I went to a friend's birthday. The usual round of what do you do party conversations led a small group of us to talk about the abortion stories in the news recently, and Brook's role in supporting young women through their pregnancy choices.One woman now in her 40s told me about her experience at Brook. She gave permission for me to tell her story here.
She became pregnant in her early 20s and really wasn't sure whether she wanted to keep the baby or have an abortion - her instinct said she wanted an abortion, but she needed both practical and emotional support to think. She spent time with a Brook counsellor working through her options and through that process she decided she wanted to keep the baby, even if it impacted on her relationship with her partner which she feared it would. She was helped to think through and prepare for the different scenarios, and practised how she would tell her partner and her parents about the pregnancy.
She described her experience like this; 'The counsellor was a wonderful woman who cared about what I wanted. She helped me by listening, asking questions and questioning my assumptions and later she offered practical tips about how to explain MY feelings about the situation and MY decision to keep the baby to my partner and family. She gave time for me to practise it'.
And that for me is a perfect example of how pregnancy choices counselling should be - focused on the needs and choices of the woman, providing a safe space for her to explore the choices available to her and having done so to make her decision without any bias or direction from the counsellor about what is the best option. As always when I hear these types of stories I felt proud of the work of Brook staff - this just one example, of which I hear so many, about the difference Brook has made and continues to make on a day to day basis over the decades to many individual woman's lives. Women's right to objective pregnancy choices counselling must be preserved, maintained and protected. That is an absolute fact.
Speaking truth to power
Last week we saw the news that STI rates amongst young people had reduced. Over a decade ago when developing the sexual health and HIV strategy many of us predicted this would happen as we tested more young people and diagnosed previously undiagnosed infection. We also predicted it would initially look like rates were increasing. Great news that we are now seeing a reduction in STI rates amongst young people.Similarly when the last TP rates were released we again saw a reduction in the number of teenage pregnancies. Both of these stats, coupled with evidence of a growing majority consensus about the importance of good quality sex and relationships education and improving access to services for young people indicate that at the end of the original TP strategy and the strategy for sexual health and HIV we are making headway in improving young people's sexual health - it is clear that we are on the right track and we must continue being driven by the evidence of what works.
But it is increasingly obvious that this progress hangs in the balance. I am having an increasing number of discussions with colleagues in the public and voluntary sector across the country who are facing cuts which they are really concerned put improvements in young people's sexual health at risk.
The math behind this one is simple - if we don't invest in education and prevention including contraceptive and sexual health services, then significantly more investment will be required to test and treat for sexually transmitted infections and for maternity and abortion services. And of course these costs will not be incurred 5 years down the line - they will often be in the same financial year.
At the same time, for whatever reason it seems the message that progress has been made, is not being heard by some. Some journalists and others are clearly reluctant to agree or report on progress, opting instead for tales of 'soaring rates'. Locally the champions for young people's sexual health are reducing in number - many are being made redundant, redeployed or with a generic/wide brief.
Like hundreds and thousands of others, I have worked too hard over the last 15 years, I don't want to see the progress in provision of support to young people decline. We know so much more about what young people want and need to be confident in their sexuality and sexual choices. We also know so much about what works. So its important that we replace some myths with facts and speak truth to power truth clearly and consistently. Here are some of the things I keep saying, and encourage you to do the same.
young people have a right to high quality sex and relationships education at home and school, and they must be able to access services
neither teenage pregnancy rates, or sexually transmitted infections are soaring: data demonstrates that we are on the right track and we need to do more, not less, learning the lessons of the past decade about what works
good quality SRE and services does work in improving young people's sexual health - our evidence is there
investing in sexual health makes good economic sense - if we don't invest early then we will pay later
teenage pregnancy and sexual health continue to be important issues for this Coalition Government and this priority must be translated into local delivery.
Desiderata states we should speak 'our truth quietly and clearly'. In the context of structural change and cuts to services I shall continue to do so at every opportunity, and I know I will not be alone. If you haven't already visit www.sexpositive.org.uk and support our young people's campaign to create a sex: positive future. Its quick, free, easy and important as it will help create a positive open culture where young people can both enjoy and take responsibility for their sexual and relationship choices and sexual health.
Follow me on twitter @simonablake
Follow Brook @brookcharity or @besexpositive
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Follow me on twitter @simonablake
Follow Brook @brookcharity or @besexpositive
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Brook and FPA respond to the Bailey Review
Below is a joint statement from Brook and the sexual health charity FPA responding to the Bailey Review and its recommendations:
We welcome the publication of this report, ‘Letting children be children’, and its recommendations on addressing the commercialisation and sexualisation of children and young people.
Schools have an important part to play in helping children and young people build confidence and self esteem, so they can understand and critically analyse sexualised images and messages enabling them to be resilient to their impact. Therefore we believe this is a missed opportunity not to recognize the role of good quality relationship and sex education in schools, as one of the report’s key recommendations.
We welcome measures that help parents voice their concerns, but we also think more can be done to support parents to have a dialogue about these issues in the home. In our opinion it's far more beneficial for parents to have a discussion with their children about why, for example, pornography presents an unrealistic picture of sex, than to just report the fact that their child accessed it.
FPA and Brook work with thousands of young people and parents every year. Young people tell us they are often ill-equipped to deal with a highly sexualised society. Parents want to work with schools to address this hugely important issue. We urge the Government to consider the role of statutory sex and relationships education along with the other recommendations proposed in ‘Letting Children be children.'
15th birthday celebrations for Brook Manchester
It’s Brook Manchester’s 15th birthday this year for which we are celebrating by holding a fundraiser. It’s taking place at the MacDonald Hotel, Piccadilly, Manchester on Saturday 11 June at 7:30pm.If you would like to come along to help celebrate the tickets are £15 (one pound for every year) and this includes entry, food, comedy, music and some excellent prizes on offer. These include football memorabilia from Everton FC, Bolton FC and Manchester City FC, original art work and tickets for a variety of events.
You can contact alih@brookmanchester.org.uk for tickets or ring 0161 233 2192.
Just Love Safe - National Condom Week 2011
Another year has gone by quickly, too quickly, the arrival of National Condom Week is testament to that. Last year I wrote this;'I am starting to measure my years in how quickly national condom week comes around - this is now the fourth NCW since I have been at Brook, and it seems inconceivable that it is a year since I was setting the challenge to answer condoms to any questions you are asked, just for a laugh, and to see people's face as you do so. Over the last four years, this challenge has been met with extreme reactions - at the one end, it has been suggested I should be punched and at the other people have emailed to say it has made them laugh and the other person bemused, and others have said it stimulated some really interesting conversation. Try it and see what response you get. I take no responsibility if you get the punch.'
And, I challenge you again this year - my fifth NCW since being at Brook - to see how many times you can talk to people about condoms during NCW. Talk about them even when it doesn't make sense to talk about them, find out and tell people facts about condoms - there are lots of them - it doesn't matter which facts, just find ways to talk about them.
This year NCW theme is about protecting yourself this summer. Supported by boy band, JLS. And Durex in conjunction with the JLS Foundation and Brook has launched a Just Love Safe survey - www.durexsurvey.co.uk - do the survey and have your chance to win tickets to meet the band backstage or win an ipad.
Join us in campaigning for a sex: positive society at www.sexpositive.org.uk
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Lies, misinformation and circular debates
This week gave me another reason to believe Brook's sex: positive campaign is vital. More lies, more misinformation and more circular debate - this time about sex and relationships education.On Wednesday a 10 minute rule Bill brought forward by Nadine Dorries which was voted to pass to second reading. The 10 minute rule Bill proposed providing girls aged 13 - 16 with lessons on abstinence. This completely disregards what children and young people have been telling us for decades - sex and relationships education needs to include more about relationships, real life dilemmas, emotions, peer pressure and influence, gender, sexuality etc etc.
I agree completely with Chris Bryant that it is ludicrous legislation and thankfully I agree with John Smeaton from SPUC who noted there is a slim chance of it going anywhere at the next stage.
But of course it did provide another liberal dusting of misinformation and myth about what teachers do in the classroom. It is disrespectful of and can frighten those doing a good job helping children and young people navigate their way through a sexualised world. Given that we know providing good quality SRE is part of the solution, not part of the problem we really don't want to undermine people's confidence.
The premise underpinning the Bill is wrong on many levels. It is wrong because it disregards the broad consensus amongst parents, children and professionals who agree that we should be providing comprehensive sex and relationships education in schools. It is wrong because it ignores completely the evidence that discredits abstinence only education and it ignores the evidence that shows comprehensive sex and relationships education helps delay first sex and ensures young people use contraception when they do choose to have sex.
And it is wrong because it feeds the myth making and fear machine that prevents real progress in this area. I have never seen or heard of 7 year olds being taught how to put a condom on a banana in the classroom. Have you? And if I did I would think it was inappropriate. Would you?
Finally it is wrong because it suggests we don't know that learning about saying yes, saying no, saying maybe, learning about consent and pressure, individual choice and autonomy and developing self respect, confidence and communication skills is a fundamental part of sex and relationships education at the secondary school.
A small minority of people may support this Bill. I, like most people, am not of their number. Are you? So to the teachers, youth workers and others doing excellent sex and relationships education thank you for the work that you do day in day out to help support our children and young people. Most sensible adults appreciate the work you do enormously.
Pledge for the sex:positive campaign at www.sexpositive.org.uk
Watch this: evidence of the importance of listening to young people
A great new video from the V team at Brook about why it is so important to listen to young people as part of the sex: positive campaign. I really recommend watching it and ask you to tweet it, share it and recommend it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-xejm0jTRM
Book your place - 15 March 2012
Al Murray and guests - 13 January
New campaign! Sex:Positive
Brook resources
Gender Film
Produced by our team of young volunteers
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