Abuse

No-one has the right to hurt you or make you do anything that feels wrong, but it's not always easy to know if you or someone you know is being abused.

Abuse can be many different things. It can be emotional, physical or sexual. The most important thing to know, is that abuse of any kind in any relationship is never the fault of the person who is being abused. There are four main kinds of abuse.

Verbal abuse

Verbal abuse is if someone threatens you or calls you nasty names, perhaps someone who shouts at you all the time to make you feel bad.

Emotional abuse

Emotional abuse is if someone uses their power to manipulate and control you. You might feel scared to do something in case it upsets them, or they might constantly check up on you, or demand to know where you are all the time.

Physical abuse

Physical abuse is if someone is physically hurting you in any way (by hitting or slapping you, for example)

Sexual abuse

Sexual abuse is if someone forces you into sexual activity you don't want or threatens you if you do not have sexual contact with them.

Getting help

If you are or have been in an abusive relationship it's really important to remember that you have done absolutely nothing wrong. It's really important that you get the right support to make sure that you are OK and any abuse does not continue.

If you have experienced any form of abuse it can be very difficult to talk about it. You might feel very worried about what will happen to you if you speak out. Sometimes people who have been abused can fear that they won't be believed if they tell someone.

However, it is very important not to let this fear stop you from getting help.You could tell a trusted friend, teacher, youth worker or family member about what's going on so they can help make sure you're safe.

If you are in immediate danger you should call the police.

If you want to talk about abuse or you want to know where to go for support, call Ask Brook on 0808 802 1234. We won't tell anyone.

Some important things to remember:

• You have the right to be safe. Know that you will not be punished if you tell a health professional that you feel unsafe or threatened in any way by anyone - including family members
• Your truth will always be believed - you should always seek help if you feel uncomfortable, confused or scared
• Your body is your own. Know the areas that should be covered and don't let anyone go beyond these boundaries
• Say 'no': you don't have to hug or kiss anyone if you don't want to
• Some secrets should never be kept. Abusers and bullies often say 'it's our secret' or even threaten the safety of other family members.
• Know that no harm will come to you or your loved ones if you tell the truth about abuse.
  

These two last tips cover all sorts of situations:

• If you feel you are in danger, then yell, kick, scream, lie or run away.
• Have a code word or sign that you can give to someone you trust if you are worried.