Sexuality and sexual identity

Lots of people feel unsure about their sexuality as they're growing up, so if you've been questioning yours, you're not alone. It's normal to think about it, and lots of other young people around you will be going through the same thing.

You might hear other people say things that make it seem like it's a big deal, but it's really not. What's important is that you feel happy and in control of your choices.

And just because we're talking about sexual identity, it doesn't mean you have to label yourself a certain way. You're free to explore all the possibilities and even change your mind if you want to.

Being gay, straight or whatever, shouldn't change you. You're still the same person - your sexuality is just one thing on the long list of things that make you who you are.

Talking about it

Your sexual identity isn't anything to be ashamed of. Everyone's got one. But it is understandable if you feel a bit awkward talking about it to people. It can feel like a tricky thing to bring up in conversation and, of course, everyone's situation is slightly different, but most people find that being open and honest about their feelings is a very positive experience, and can makes them feel really good about themselves.

Try not to let other people's opinions stop you from being yourself. People will react however they're going to react, and there's nothing you can really do to change that. What you can control is how you deal with it. Distancing yourself may seem tempting, but if you talk openly and honestly with them, chances are they'll be really supportive.

Sexuality and the media

Although it's changing for the better, much of the media such as magazines, TV and radio shows often show heterosexual or straight relationships and sex. Sometimes it can feel like it's considered "normal" to be straight, but this is just not true.

In reality, people fancy all sorts of different people - big, small, men and women. Everyone is into different things sexually, including the type of people they fancy. It's okay not to be sure who you're attracted to, some people spend their whole life experimenting and working it out.

Knowing the facts

In the UK and Jersey the age of consent is 16 years old for everyone, whether they want to have sex with someone of the same or opposite sex. Also, STIs can be passed on just as easily through same sex sexual relationships, so you'll still need to protect yourself.

You can find out more about different types of sexual identity and relationships elsewhere on our website - just click here.

We've already helped thousands of people in the same situation, so if you need someone to speak to about any of it, you can always talk to us. Just call Ask Brook on 0808 8021234, your call will be free and confidential.