Healthy lives for young people
Sexuality

Coming out as a lesbian: Chloe’s story

Chloe shares some great advice for anyone who is struggling with their sexuality and talks about how being true to who you are is the most important thing.

My name is Chloe and I am a lesbian. I used to find that really hard to say. 

I have had a bit of a confusing time regarding my sexuality to be honest with you. Well, I say confusing, but as I have got older I’ve realised confusing is actually kind of normal… 

From a young age, probably as young as 11, I have been attracted to girls. I was shy and quiet in secondary school and the area I am from is not hugely diverse, so at first, I just put the feelings I was having down to being young and inquisitive.  

As I got older, I downloaded a few well-known dating apps, and initially I set my settings to both men and women; just to see what was out there. I had a few dates with both men and women, and I had a relationship with a man for a few months. I tried it, and I soon realised that it wasn’t making me happy and I didn’t feel like ‘me’.  

I returned back to the dating apps (an amazing way to meet new people, just ensure you’re being safe!). I changed my settings again to just women and I struck an amazing connection with a girl who is now my girlfriend! Yes, little me actually got a girl to say yes to be my girlfriend! And it feels amazing.

I am finally allowing myself to be me, and for that, I am so proud.  

I’ve always struggled with coming out and I felt the need to keep my feelings private and wholly to myself. In secondary school, I had a few conversations with friends about my sexuality and they were supportive.  

At home, however, it was really different. I’ve never had conversations about sex and relationships with my parents and I felt like I couldn’t tell them about my feelings… I could feel it eating away at me and I felt like I couldn’t be myself. I finally confided in my sister who was SO SO supportive. But even doing that took me a number of years. Having just one person you can talk to is great, and I wish I had plucked up the courage to talk to her earlier.  

My girlfriend’s family are also so supportive of any problems I have with my sexual orientation and my parent’s views. I feel that they are there for me and have really been a massive support. It is taking a while, but I’m glad to say I feel like my parents are slowlyyyy becoming more accepting.

Some things do take time and that’s okay. 

If I could give advice to my younger self I would definitely tell myself to be brave and not be afraid of people’s opinions. Be yourself. Don’t allow fear to rule your life. Stick with who YOU are and be happy. Love whoever you want to love and love yourself unconditionally. I always wished I had realised sooner that who you are is not for others to decide. So, here is your reminder to embrace your quirks. You are special. 

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