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If you are unsure about whether or not to continue with your pregnancy this page might help. It includes questions that might help clarify your feelings, as well as places you can go to talk and get support with your decisions.
If you are pregnant you have three basic choices:
CHOICE A: go through with the pregnancy and become a parent.CHOICE B: go through with the pregnancy and place the baby for adoption.CHOICE C: end the pregnancy now by having an abortion.
Perhaps you planned to get pregnant because you wanted to have a baby, and that is still what you want most at this time. If so, you will probably decide on Choice A – continuing the pregnancy and keeping the baby.
If that is no longer what you want, or if you didn’t intend to get pregnant in the first place, you can start by looking more closely at how you feel about being pregnant. An unintended pregnancy can arouse many different feelings. In fact, most women find they have mixed or conflicting feelings.
For example, you might feel:
At the same time you may also feel:
It might help to list the different feelings you have right now about being pregnant. (When you can’t think of any more, go on to the next section. Later, if you think of other feelings, you can add them to your list).
Here are some good questions to ask yourself about your life right now and about your future:
In order to achieve those things:
What would I lose or give up right now:
(such as partner, parents, friends)
Up to this point, you’ve been looking at the possible effects of different decisions on your plans and dreams. Now look at your thoughts, values, and beliefs about your situation and the different choices.
Following are some statements people often make. Check the ones that fit for you, and write in other thoughts you have.
CHOICE A: having a baby and keeping it
CHOICE B: having a baby and putting it up for adoption
CHOICE C: having an abortion
If you – like so many women – have mixed feelings about being pregnant and about each of the choices open to you, making a decision can feel scary and difficult. In making your decision, it is helpful to know your feelings, to name them, and to look at them. To show how you are feeling right now, try to finish each of these sentences.
Now that you have explored your choices, obtained more information, and clarified your feelings and values about the choices, you may be ready to make a decision. Since you probably have conflicting feelings about each choice, you may find that whatever decision you make won’t feel like the “perfect” decision. It is natural to continue to have some mixed feelings. Ask yourself, “Can I handle those feelings?” If your answer is “Yes,” you are ready to act on your decision.
Nobody can predict the future
No one can be certain what all of the consequences of any choice may be. What you can do, however, is carefully consider your plans, your values, and your feelings, and then make the best decision you can at the time.
If you cannot decide, you may need to get more information about your choices or talk with someone you trust- not to decide for you, but to help you decide what you think will be best for you. That person could be a:
Reprinted and adapted with permission from the National Abortion Federation, www.prochoice.org. Information taken from Unsure About Your Pregnancy? (copyright 1992).
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