Living with an STI

Plenty of people live happy lives with an STI. Here are some of the key tips to living with an STI.  

Get support 

You don’t have to cope on your own – talking to people you trust about your feelings can make the experience of having an STI less daunting or scary. It’s okay to ask for support. 

There are also lots of organisations and support groups that can help with any STI you might have, particularly those which you live with long term. If you aren’t sure where to start, you can contact your local sexual health service to ask for advice.

Tell people about your sexual health status 

It’s important to tell your sexual partners that you have an STI, and this can feel scary, but it doesn’t have to be. Having conversations about your sexual health status will become easier with practice, particularly as you reach a point where you don’t feel you need to apologise or have any shame around having an STI.  

More about talking to your partner(s) about STIs

Learn how to read your body 

With any ongoing infection, such as genital herpes, you will get better at anticipating when an outbreak might happen, what your triggers are, and how to manage your symptoms when they happen. With time and practice, you can get to a point where managing your STI will take up much less space in your mind than at the start. 

Do your research 

Living with an STI will have different implications depending on what STI it is. Find out more about living with particular STIs from the following helpful websites:  

• Information on living with HIV from Terrence Higgins Trust
• Information about herpes recurrences from the Herpes Viruses Association
• Information about HPV from Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust
• Information about Hepatitis B from the British Liver Trust, who have a helpline for people living with liver conditions such as Hepatitis B.

If your partner has told you that they have an STI, you may have a lot of questions about what this means for you. Some things you can do for yourself and your partner are: 

• Do some research. You could do this by looking at trustworthy websites or talking to a sexual health service about the STI, how it is passed and prevented. You can explore ways to practice safer sex while lowering the chances of getting the STI 
• Get tested. If your partner has been diagnosed with an STI, there is a change you will also have it (even if you don’t have symptoms), so you need to get tested as soon as possible. If you are diagnosed with an STI, you can get treated. 
• Be kind. While you may have some complicated feelings about your partner’s diagnosis, it’s really important not to respond with shame or anger. If you are feeling those things, it might be useful to do some research into the stigma around STIs and work through where those feelings are coming from before discussing them with your partner.  
• Take your time. It can be a lot to take in if you partner is diagnosed with an STI, particularly if it is viral and therefore not curable. Take the time that you need to process and look after each other. You can also ask other trusted people in your life for support, although remember that if they haven’t given you permission to tell someone else about their diagnosis you must keep the information confidential.

Remember, an STI diagnosis isn’t a disaster, whether it’s your partner or you that has been diagnosed! It won’t mean the end of your relationship, your sex life, or your own health.