Navigating anxiety at work: Sarah’s story

I first started suffering with anxiety a couple of years ago when I had to get back to hosting events in a post-pandemic world. Before getting anxiety I never took the trouble to understand it or explore it in others as I didn’t quite get it. But now, I fully sympathise with those who experience anxiety on a generalised or social level as, I too, feel your pain.

Events and socialising used to be my thing.

I have always worked in the dating industry and what made me feel energised and most alive was when I was connecting people together and connecting with people to get to know them better. However, now I find I sometimes have to psych myself up ahead of time or take time thereafter to recover from what feels like a depletion of energetic resources after an event or ‘heavy’ social situation whether that’s a professional situation or personally at a family party.  

It took me a while to realise what it was as I didn’t identify as someone who could ever have anxiety creep up on them.

I now do identify as a person who experiences anxiety and find it not only to be crippling at some points after a busy week of ‘showing up’ but quite debilitating. Especially as someone who is used to being the last one standing at a party, the social butterfly at a dinner party and the person who has to show up as their most confident selves professionally often on stage, radio or in person. Before the pandemic I never had any trouble at all in big social situations and I was used to speaking in front of 100 people, but now I find the likes of drinks evenings or busy office environments absolutely exhausting.  

I had coaching to try and uncover if I was experiencing imposter syndrome and not feeling good enough, because when I first started to realise I had anxiety, I was feeling tense, nervous and felt that something terrible was about to happen.

It turns out I am just introverted and spending much more time working from home and chatting to people from the ‘zoom room’ has encouraged my introverted nature even more so. 

I truly feel that the disconnection from human interaction over recent years was such a shock to my social system that my body and mind have had an adverse reaction turning it into anxiety. I find that when the feelings of anxiety creep in, it’s in a slow but steady way and sometimes it shows up as me struggling to speak up in a room, not wanting to have attention focused on me or make myself known, even if I am hosting an event – this kind of situation, that I would usually be able to do with my eyes shut, I now find to be quite daunting.

Performative situations in the work environment leave me wanting to sleep for days or emotionally depleted afterwards. Anxiety on a social level when I’ve been really busy at work in big social environments sees me, albeit subconsciously, wanting to withdraw in my personal life to refill my empty batteries.  

To help me recharge and rejuvenate when I am feeling energetically low, I’ve created a toolbox of techniques.

I mapped out my toolbox by being real with myself about what I felt I needed in one of those anxious moments by closing my eyes and thinking about when it is I feel most calm, relaxed and ‘myself’ and is I journaled it all out with a pen and a piece of paper.  

It turns out that I feel most relaxed by water, after I have moved my body or when I get into flow state of creating something at work and so creating a toolbox felt like the best solution for me.  

Instead of fighting with my feelings of anxiety I now just seek to soothe it with my toolbox and find that really helps. What has also been key has been acknowledging it, figuring out my needs to support my anxious state of mind and being honest about it with others.