Sexual identity

Everyone is sexually and romantically attracted to different kinds of people.

Part of our sexual identity can be working out which sex (boys or girls) we feel most attracted to, and it's completely normal need to spend a lot of time working that out. Some people can feel really sure about their sexual identity, while for other people it can feel more fluid and changeable.

As you grow up, it's normal to think sexually about both the same sex and the opposite sex. Some people know exactly who they fancy, but others may experiment with sexual experiences, including those with members of the same sex, during the years they are exploring their own sexuality.

Heterosexual

People who are heterosexual are romantically and physically attracted to the opposite sex. So girls fancy boys and boys fancy girls. Heterosexuals are also sometimes called 'straight'.

Homosexual

People who are homosexual are romantically and physically attracted to the same sex. So boys fancy boys and girls fancy girls. Men are often called 'gay' and women are often called 'lesbians' but can also be called 'gay'.

Bisexual

People who are bisexual are romantically and physically attracted to people of both sexes. So boys fancy both girls and boys, and so do girls.

Remember, there's no need to put yourself in a box if you don't want to. It can take time to figure out what you like and don't like.

Sexual bullying

Unfortunately, someone's sexual or gender identity is sometimes used as an excuse to bully them. Bullying can be as casual as using the term 'gay' as an insult or can be more targetted and agressive. This is wrong.

You have a right to express your sexuality and you should not be bullied or discriminated against simply because you are gay, straight or bisexual. If you are worried that you or someone you know is being bullied or treated unfairly because of their sexual identity, contact Ask Brook on 0808 802 1234 and talk it through.

Fitting in and coming out

Sexuality can be confusing and it can also take a little time to work out. For many people who are gay or lesbian, it can feel like you are expected to be straight and that being gay is somehow wrong. It's not. It's just who you are.

You may feel like you have to pretend to feel things you don't in order to fit in, and hide how you are feeling from your friends or family, particularly if you don't really know many other gay or lesbian people. If you do feel the need to hide who you are, you might find that you get depressed or anxious.

If you decide you want to tell people that you are gay or lesbian, this is often called 'coming out'. It can be frightening to talk to people close to you, and if you would like to talk it through with someone first, call Ask Brook on 0808 802 1234. Your call will be confidential. That means we won't tell anyone about it.