Choking during sex: The role of porn and the real-life consequences 

For Sexual Health Week, we are exploring how being chronically online is shaping our attitudes and behaviours around sex and relationships. In this blog, Amber Newman-Clark, Education and Wellbeing Coordinator at Brook, looks at the rise of choking in porn and its real-world consequences. 

How common is choking during sex? 

Over recent years, professionals in sexual health and relationships have noticed a worrying trend: a sharp rise in the number of people, particularly those aged 16 to 35, engaging in non-fatal strangulation (NFS) during sex.  

More commonly known as “choking”, NFS involves applying pressure to someone’s neck, restricting airflow or blood flow to the brain. Research from the Institute for Addressing Strangulation (2025) found that: 35% of 16–34-year-olds report being strangled at least once during sex, and 27% report having strangled a partner. What was once considered an extreme act, even within kink and BDSM communities that are known for strong consent practices, has now become far more mainstream. Worryingly, it is becoming especially common among younger people who are inexperienced with sex and still learning about consent. 

Why has it become so common? 

Mainstream pornography increasingly portrays choking, presenting it as a normal part of sex. This comes with serious problems: porn does not show the potential harm involved or the negotiations that happen before filming, so on-screen it looks like choking happens without any discussion. This misleads viewers into believing consent is not necessary for an act like this. Also, porn actors may moan or speak during choking scenes. Yet, in reality, someone being strangled would struggle to communicate, making ongoing enthusiastic consent impossible.  

Porn is scripted entertainment, not a guide to safe sex. Yet by age 13, over half of young people have already seen pornography, and this shapes their early ideas about sex. When speaking to young people, some of the most common questions are: “If pornstars are fine, why wouldn’t I be?” and “Isn’t it safe if we agree first?” The reality is that there is no safe way to strangle someone. Even light pressure can cause hidden injuries, and even if someone consents, strangulation makes it very difficult or impossible to withdraw that consent once the act has started. 

The risks of non-fatal strangulation 

There are many risks involved with choking during sex. Immediate risks include neck pain, difficulty breathing or swallowing, blurred vision or ringing in the ears, passing out, and loss of bladder or bowel control. After-effects include voice changes and speech problems, headaches, nausea and confusion, memory loss, long-term concentration difficulties, and in severe cases stroke or brain damage. When oxygen is restricted, people may experience disorientation and memory loss.  

Repeated restriction can cause lasting cognitive issues, and in some cases strangulation can trigger life-threatening medical emergencies. If this happens, you should always call 999. 

Consent and power 

Surveys show a troubling gap in perceptions. 57% of people who have strangled a partner believed it was always agreed upon beforehand. Yet, only half of those on the receiving end said they had given that consent. This highlights how those with more power in the act may assume consent that is not really there. Outside consensual encounters, strangulation is also a strong warning sign in abusive relationships. Almost a third (29%) of UK domestic abuse victims reported being strangled by a partner and experiencing non-fatal strangulation increases the risk of later being killed by that partner sevenfold. 

Gender and missing voices 

Men are almost twice as likely (17%) to have strangled a partner compared with women (9%). Research into LGBTQ+ experiences is still limited. Some studies suggest same-gender couples may engage in NFS less frequently, but when it does occur, reported injuries are often more severe. There is little to no research into the experiences of gender non-conforming people. Stigma and fear of judgement may mean NFS is underreported among groups that already face discrimination, leaving significant gaps in our understanding. 

What does the law say? 

In 2022, England and Wales recognised strangulation and suffocation as distinct criminal offences. Northern Ireland followed in 2023. In the first year alone, police recorded over 23,000 cases. While consenting to be strangled is legal, consent to serious harm or death is not. This means that if an injury occurs, the person who carried out the strangulation cannot use “they agreed to it” as a defence. In July 2025, the government announced that pornography depicting strangulation will be made illegal under the Crime and Policing Bill. 

While the new Crime and Policing Bill is a step forward, young people are already exposed to pornography that normalises dangerous behaviours. We cannot rely solely on the law or on a single lesson in school to address this issue. From September 2025, updated RSHE guidance will require schools to teach that strangulation and suffocation are criminal offences; that applying force or pressure to someone’s neck, or covering their mouth and nose, is dangerous and can cause serious injury or death; and that pornography often presents harmful or unrealistic activities as normal.  

This is welcome progress, but conversations about consent, sex and pornography need to happen now. Parents, educators and professionals all have a role to play in safeguarding young people by giving them accurate, honest information and space to ask questions.  

Choking during sex is never safe. It carries serious physical and emotional risks for those being strangled, and legal risks for those doing it. Everyone has the right to say no or to change their mind. Talking openly about pornography, consent, and safety helps protect young people.