Digital vs Real Life – which is better for engagement?

Ethan talks about his experience as a Participation Forum Member at Brook and the pros and cons of using digital tools over the last few years.

When you compare today to a few years ago, life has changed dramatically. We were forced to move our lives online for two years due to the pandemic – from school, health appointments and even speaking to family and friends. As life starts to ‘go back to normal’ there is a question about whether we should continue to use digital and is that an improvement from meeting people in the outside world. 

It feels like yesterday when I travelled to Swindon for my first ever participation opportunity with Brook to become involved in the old ‘Champions Project’. It would be the first time I would meet anyone as we had just communicated by email on projects. What I discovered by meeting everyone in person is that as much as you got to ‘know’ people via email, you don’t really get to know them properly – you can’t just talk about anything and everything and have the opportunity for conversations to spiral into deeper conversations. Meeting everyone in Swindon made me feel like, for once in my life, I fitted in with a crowd of people.

As we talked about sex education and other things, I got to know people on a personal and fun level, which helped to build strong friendships.

Now when I compare this experience to my time working on the new Participation Forums digitally it is very different. The pandemic meant we could not meet up in person, so we had to hold all our meetings online. The problem is that you end up having to be on ‘mute’ while in the meetings so you can hear what is being said, but this can be a bit boring compared to the chit chats you might have with friends if you were in person – you miss the impromptu fun bits. I also missed the personal contact during COVID, like seeing people in real life and networking etc.

It isn’t all bad though, and there has been a positive side to having our meetings digitally.

It has allowed for people who might be anxious in groups to get involved, and it allows you to meet people from all different places who aren’t local to you. Also, the cost of public transport is really tough and for some people travelling alone or long distance can be challenging, so digital helps to allow for people to get involved in these opportunities.

Being more digital has also helped peoples lives in other ways, from being able to get a doctor’s appointment more conveniently, to ordering food from certain shops you can’t get to, but also accessing resources like contraception or puberty advice. Digital access seems like it is going to get even better with new things like virtual reality becoming increasingly better year on year, but is that where we should be migrating to? It is hard to know what the best solution is.

In my opinion, I think there needs to be an even split of both being able to talk and engage digitally, but also being able to take that engagement into real life person-to-person engagement. Maybe it can be beneficial to be able to do more strenuous activities at home, like meetings or appointments etc online, but meeting in person can give you something to look forward to, especially as a (consensual) hug could bring someone so much comfort, but maybe that’s just me!

Everyone is in charge of how they run their life, it’s just important to find that balance which is right for you.