How technology is facilitating abuse among young people

For Sexual Health Week, we’re exploring how being Chronically Online is influencing our attitudes and behaviours around sex and relationships. In this blog, Meg Warren-Lister, Media and Communications Assistant at Refuge, explores how domestic abuse and violence against women and girls (VAWG) has changed with the digital age and how we can combat it.  

Young people are growing up in a world where technology shapes nearly every aspect of their lives – and it’s having an array of consequences for how they engage in sex and relationships. From misogynistic pornography to AI companions and deepfake image generators, our digital worlds are influencing what young people see as normal, desirable, and acceptable. 

Domestic abuse in the digital age 

At Refuge, we have seen first-hand how technology and digital spaces can facilitate violence against women and girls (VAWG). For Gen Z in particular, being chronically online has contributed to the normalisation of certain indicators of abuse. Behaviours such as pressuring partners into sharing intimate images or monitoring someone’s texting habits may be dismissed as normal parts of living life online, rather than signs of abuse or coercion. 

A recent UK-wide poll commissioned by Refuge found that fewer than 1 in 3 people* would report certain signs of tech abuse if they happened to them or someone they know, such as location tracking or someone demanding access to their phone. Just 58% would report the non-consensual sharing of intimate images – a figure that falls to 44% among 18–24-year-olds. This reflects the fact that adults aged 18-24 are significantly less likely than other age groups to consider any behaviour abusive, and likewise, report it – revealing a concerning generational gap in public understanding of what domestic abuse looks like in the digital age. 

The influence of online pornography 

Online pornography, which young people are disproportionately exposed to, also plays a huge role in normalising harmful attitudes to sex and relationships. We know that violent and misogynistic pornography is all too common – with scenes of women being choked, spat on and slapped frequently featured on the homepages of major sites. Not only is this distorting how young people understand sex and relationships, but it also contributes to a warped culture in which violence against women and girls (VAWG) is eroticised. 

This misogynistic content often directly mirrors the lived experiences of domestic abuse survivors. Depictions of strangulation, for example, are shockingly commonplace – and this is something many survivors we work with have experienced at the hands of a partner or ex-partner. The normalisation of choking has real world consequences: non-fatal strangulation is both a known predictor of domestic homicide and thought to be the leading cause of strokes in women under 40.  

Concerningly, recently released Refuge data reveals a rise in reports of abuse among 16–25-year-olds, with a notable spike in the number of young women reporting non-fatal strangulation compared to last year. We know there is no safe way to choke someone, and it is essential that young people are taught this – so that girls growing up do not feel like it’s a normal part of sex, or safe.  

The rise of AI chatbots 

The rise in AI chatbots risks playing a similar role in shifting young people’s attitudes towards relationships by influencing perceptions around consent and boundaries. Popular AI companion tools often let users determine the bot’s personality – including making them submissive and compliant – which can normalise controlling behaviour in real-life relationships. 

 Alarmingly, 64% of children now use AI companions, according to Internet Matters, highlighting just how mainstream these tools have become among young users.  

Treating AI chatbots in a demeaning way may also normalise misogyny, with similar effects. Some sites specifically lean into this, with a page known as ‘Character.AI’ hosting chatbots with names such as ‘Cheater Boyfriend’, ‘Abusive Boyfriend’, and ‘Murderer Boyfriend’ – each with thousands of users. 

How we can combat tech-facilitated abuse

As Netflix’s popular TV series Adolescence clearly highlights, what happens in online spaces is not just a virtual problem. How young people spend time online has direct consequences for the real world – and there are all-too-clear links between the consumption of misogynistic content and violence against women and girls.  

At Refuge, we are bringing these issues to the forefront through initiatives such as our upcoming Tech Safety Summit, where we will spotlight emerging threats and explore innovative and survivor-informed solutions to tech-facilitated abuse. Speakers and panellists include Adolescence writer Jack Thorne, Ofcom CEO Melanie Dawes, and author and online safety campaigner Adele Walton. 

Education is crucial to helping young people identify early signs of tech-facilitated abuse – including stalking and harassment – and equipping them with strategies to seek help. Intersectional approaches are an essential part of this, to ensure that LGBTQ+ young people and other marginalised groups receive tailored support to reflect the unique harms they face.  

For some young people, intimate image abuse might come with an added risk of ‘outing’ their sexual or gender identity, which could result in additional harms, including isolation from family and bullying. Similarly, we have heard from Muslim women who have experienced image abuse through the creation and sharing of images showing them without their hijabs. More generally, we know that Black women in England and Wales are more likely to experience domestic abuse than any other ethnic group – yet at the same time, research by Sistah Space recently found that 76% Black women surveyed did not report abuse, even though they wanted to, because of a fear of being ‘judged or stereotyped as a Black woman’. 

Respectively, sexual health professionals play a critical role in helping young people navigate these challenges by creating space to have healthy and culturally-informed conversations about online behaviour, consent, and the potential risks of pornography and image sharing. 

As technology becomes more sophisticated and increasingly embedded into our lives, it will continue to shape the sexual attitudes and behaviours of young people –  but by pushing for regulation that holds companies to account and equipping professionals with the knowledge and tools to respond to tech-facilitated VAWG, together we can support young people to develop healthy, consensual, and respectful relationships – both online and offline.