How to answer “Where do babies come from?” at every age

Talking about where babies come from can make even the most confident parents freeze. If your child asks, it can be hard to know what’s appropriate to say or where to start. In this blog, Rin Harris, an Education and Wellbeing Coordinator at Brook, shares some guidance for talking about sex, reproduction and growing up, whether your child is four, nine or just starting to ask more detailed questions.

Being open about how babies are made helps children see sex and reproduction as a normal part of life, not something secret or shameful. When parents talk honestly, it shows children they can come to you if they’re confused or worried. It also supports what they’re learning at school, helping to build confidence and understanding. Talking early and openly can even help keep children safer as they grow up. When young people know about consent, body changes and boundaries, they’re more likely to recognise when something doesn’t feel right and to speak up.

When to start the conversation

These conversations can feel tricky to navigate. But here’s the good news: there’s no perfect script and you don’t need to be an expert. What matters most is giving honest, age-appropriate answers and showing your child that it’s okay to ask.

If your child is old enough to ask, they’re old enough for a simple, factual answer.

You can always build on that understanding over time.

The national curriculum specifies that children learn about conception in Year 5. But if they ask about it earlier than you expect, there’s no need to lie. You can give a short, honest answer without going into detail.

For very young children, a basic response like: “Daddy’s sperm met Mummy’s egg and the baby grew in Mummy’s uterus,” is enough. You can also explain that when people grow up, their bodies change to be ready for reproduction. Around ages nine to ten, it’s good to start talking about puberty and anatomy. Puberty can start earlier than parents expect (some children start their periods around age ten) so being prepared helps.

Try to keep the conversation relaxed and natural. Reproduction and sexuality are part of life for everyone, not something embarrassing or dirty. It helps to find a quiet, private place, like at home or on a walk. Avoid busy public spaces where you might feel watched or distracted. Give your child space to ask questions. If you don’t know an answer, say so and find out together. After twelve years of teaching, I still get questions I don’t know the answer to. It’s fine to say you’ll look it up and talk about it later.

What to cover

Start with puberty and how their body might change: hormones, muscle and body shape, voice changes, hair growth, skin and sweat changes, curiosity about sex and masturbation, and genital anatomy. Once you’ve covered that, you can explain the basics of reproduction. There are three things needed to make a baby: a viable egg cell, a viable sperm cell and a uterus or womb for the fertilised egg to grow in. Explain that sperm comes from someone with typically male anatomy (a penis and testes) and that eggs and a womb are found in people with typically female anatomy (ovaries, vulva and vagina). It can help to look at diagrams or trusted websites to show what’s happening inside the body.

Then explain how the egg and sperm usually meet — most commonly through vaginal sex, where the penis enters the vagina and releases semen containing sperm. You can also explain that sex doesn’t always lead to pregnancy because many people use contraception. This can lead naturally into talking about different kinds of families — adoptive families, blended families, families with two mums or two dads, or single parents.

As your child gets older, you might mention assisted reproduction methods such as IVF or surrogacy. Whenever you talk about sex, it’s important to mention consent and readiness. The average age people in the UK first have sex is around 16 or 17, but the right time is different for everyone. You can also bring in any personal, religious or cultural values you hold about sex, relationships or marriage.

Common myths to clear up

You don’t need to be an expert, but it helps to know what’s true. I’ve heard plenty of myths while teaching, and some are surprisingly common.

Here are a few to keep straight:

• The vulva is the external genitals; the vagina is the muscular canal.
• People pee from the urethra, not the vagina.
• The cervix separates the vagina and uterus; only tiny cells like sperm can pass through.
• Not everyone has a hymen, and it doesn’t always tear or bleed during sex.
• Babies grow in the uterus, not the stomach or tummy.
• Pre-seminal fluid (pre-cum) and semen contain sperm but are not just sperm.
• The vagina doesn’t become “looser” from sex — it’s made of muscle that expands and contracts.
• Everyone has the main sex hormones, just in different amounts.

The most important thing is always honesty.

Children don’t need every detail right away, but they do need accurate information that grows with them.

Talking about where babies come from doesn’t have to be awkward. It can be a positive, ongoing conversation that helps your child understand their body, feel confident asking questions and build healthy attitudes for the future.