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The Government’s draft RSHE Guidance imposes age limits on certain RSHE topics. Nikki Oni, 17, is a Brook Participation Advisory Group member. In this blog, she talks about her experience with RSHE at school and the importance of talking about topics before they’re needed and in response to where young people are at.
Having just turned 17, as a student, I’ve seen first-hand how vital Relationships and Sex Education (RSHE) is in schools.
I remember sitting in the classroom when Brook educators first visited in Year 5. They engaged us in discussions about consent and healthy relationships in a way that was both informative and approachable.
As time went on, it became evident that many of us had gaps in our understanding. For example, in a later lesson, a friend of mine who is usually very outspoken and confident became uncharacteristically timid, admitting that they weren’t entirely sure about the basics of sexual health. They asked, “Is it true that you can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex?” This highlighted how crucial it is to provide accurate information about sexual health and dispel common myths. This surprised me because it showed that even those who seem well-informed might miss critical information.
Another example of an essential concept that some had missed was that not everyone was aware that condoms, could also prevent most sexually transmitted infections, not just pregnancy. Others were unaware that coercion or pressure invalidates consent, believing incorrectly that staying silent or not resisting meant agreement.
These are shocking gaps in knowledge that can lead to dangerous situations and misunderstandings.
It’s important to note that these conversations were with my Year 11 class, underscoring how easy it is to miss vital RSHE knowledge. This highlights the importance of starting age-appropriate RSHE discussions early to ensure that everyone has the necessary information as they grow older.
I have had many Brook visits during my progression at school, each differing in depth depending on the age I was at the time.
Brook’s visits made a real difference.
The discussions we had were eye-opening, and they corrected a lot of misconceptions. For instance, many of us believed the myth that using two condoms provided extra protection, when in fact Brook specialists explained that it increases the chance of them breaking.
We also learned about less common but equally important issues. For example, some thought that sexual activity could be completely safe without protection during certain times of the menstrual cycle, not realising how unreliable this method is.
During one of the visits, we had a detailed discussion about sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and the importance of regular testing, which many had never considered necessary if they were in a monogamous relationship. We also talked about the different types of contraception available beyond just condoms and the pill, including long-acting reversible contraceptives (LARCs) like IUDs and implants, which were new information to many of us.
Another significant issue that RSHE helps address is the unrealistic expectations created by pornography. Let’s be honest, many children have access to pornography; it’s as easy as downloading a VPN. Porn creates unrealistic expectations of what sex looks like, how bodies should appear, and how people should behave during sex. Without proper education, young people might believe these portrayals are accurate, leading to disappointment, confusion, and harmful behaviours. RSHE helps rectify these misconceptions by providing a realistic and healthy understanding of sex and relationships.
Parents might worry about exposing their children to RSHE at a young age, but it’s important to recognise that children are the best adapters in the world. If we know you won’t like something or don’t want to hear something, we are very good at coming up with extraordinarily creative solutions to continue to do what you don’t like behind your back. Just as with exams where the strategy is ‘little but often,’ the best approach to RSHE is starting young and increasing the depth and specific knowledge children have as they get older and are able to understand more difficult concepts.
Ultimately, school is meant to prepare children for the outside world. These children are eventually going to go out into the real world and be dealing with their own relationship issues, and it’s much better for them to have all the necessary information.
I believe there’s a growing misconception and stigma about RSHE that focuses solely on its sexual aspects.
It’s crucial to understand that RSHE covers a wide range of important topics beyond just sex.
The content children are exposed to is carefully considered and goes through extensive thought and precautionary measures to ensure its appropriateness and educational value. Parents usually have the option to come in and see what their children will be viewing beforehand. This transparency can help alleviate concerns and build trust in the RSHE program.
RSHE is about more than just teaching the biological aspects of sex. It’s about understanding consent, building healthy relationships, recognising abusive behaviours, and knowing where to seek help. This education helps us make informed decisions and respect others’ boundaries, which is crucial for our wellbeing.
One way to support comprehensive RSHE is by signing the Brook pledge.
This pledge is something I have already signed myself and am really passionate about. It is a commitment to ensuring that all young people receive high-quality, inclusive RSHE. By signing the pledge, we can help advocate for the continuation and improvement of RSHE programs in schools, ensuring that future generations are better prepared for the challenges of relationships and sexual health.
In conclusion, RSHE is a crucial part of our education, and raising the age limits for these lessons is a misguided approach that could do more harm than good. We need to trust in the expertise of educators and organisations like Brook, who know how to deliver this essential information in an age-appropriate manner. Ensuring that all young people have access to comprehensive RSHE from an early age will help them grow into informed, respectful, and healthy adults.
By sharing my experience and highlighting the importance of RSHE, I hope to encourage others to support and advocate for maintaining comprehensive RSHE programs in schools. Let’s ensure that every young person has the opportunity to learn about relationships and sex in a safe and supportive environment.
Take action
The Government’s draft RSHE Guidance puts age limits on certain RSHE topics. If you agree that this is harmful you can respond to the consultation before 11th July 2024.
It is really important that the new Government hears from everyone who is interested in and affected by RSHE in schools.
Responding to the guidance takes as little as 5 minutes and to help, we’ve also created a guide on how to respond.
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