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Text reads "definition of sharenting: noun, the habitual use of social media to share news, images etc of one's children. word origin: blend of sharing and parenting

Sharenting: Is it safe to share photos of your child online?

For #SHW23, we’re Playing It Safe. In today’s digital age, sharing moments of our lives has become second nature. So when it feels like your children become your life, is it possible to integrate them into your own online presence while also keeping them safe and protecting their identities? Isabel Inman, Assistant Director of Comms, Policy and Public Affairs, shares her own experiences.

Pre-pandemic (and pre-baby) my grid was mostly a documentation of my travels and adventures. Full of hazy city break walks, wild weekends with friends at festivals and, of course, the odd cliché sunset.

I’ve never been one to document every aspect of my daily life, but I’ve been guilty of showing the best bits.

That’s why, when my life changed to revolve around a tiny human in September 2020, and an avalanche of baby photos filled my phone, it felt natural to want to share pictures – after all, he was the new adventure and I considered him to be one of my best bits. I’m not alone. It’s estimated that more than 40% of parents share pictures and images of their children online, and on average parents share 100 images and videos of their children each year.

One of the reported benefits of sharenting is that it can provide a source of connection and support to parents, and I can understand this and I really do see why many people do it. It’s a personal choice.

My partner and I had the conversation about sharenting quite early on, and I think our main motivation for agreeing that we wouldn’t share many pictures of our son started as a simple refusal to hinge our identities on parenthood. Being in our mid 30’s at the time, we’d witnessed a lot of our friends and peers having kids and flooding their accounts with baby spam. It might sound rude or cold, but we just didn’t want to be those people!

I did share a few images in the early days, especially after lockdown had lifted and we were able to go on our first holiday as a family of three. I was thrilled to be able to share my travel snaps again with the added cuteness of a chubby baby, plus it felt strange to post pictures of a family holiday and not include our son. However, it also left me feeling uncomfortable as I know full well that there are more serious implications and risks to sharenting than fear of being a baby spammer.

Research shows that 2.7 million people share images of their children that are seen by strangers.

Once an image is online and in the public domain, there is no way of controlling how that image is used and there can be serious safeguarding consequences such as exposure to online predators, identity theft and commercial exploitation. There are also moral implications like consent, creating a digital footprint that will last a lifetime (think about future employers) and also the emotional and psychological impact – are they going to resent you when they grow up?

For me, when I weighed up the pros, cons and alternatives, I decided I didn’t want to share any more.

There are things you can do to minimise the risks, like managing your privacy settings and only sharing certain content to close friends. I’d have to do a serious amount of digital housekeeping if I was going to make this a safe option, because while my account is private now, for a long time it wasn’t and I can’t even claim to know all the hundreds of people who follow me, let alone know them well enough to trust them with my child’s identity.

Some people like to put emojis over their kids’ faces or only show the back of their heads, which I think works well for influencers and people in the public eye who are posting constantly about their lives, but it didn’t feel right for me.

I have found a compromise though, a solution that both satisfies the demands of doting grandparents and makes me feel comfortable about keeping my son safe. If you’re conflicted about what and where you’re sharing, I would recommend using a private family photo journal app so that you can stay in control of who sees the images and feel more assured by their privacy policy and data protection.

Will I take the images down that I have already shared? I don’t think I will. Will I ever be tempted to share images of him in the future? No doubt. But as a parent, my number one priority is keeping my child as safe as possible.

I also want to role model consent, respect and boundaries, and for me I think sharenting would contradict that.

If he grows up and feels a real sense of deprivation because there are no images of him online as a child, he can make his own accounts and post to his heart’s content. I can assure you there is enough content!

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