Teen Dating: Tips for Parents

In this blog, Dr Harriet Heath, Education and Wellbeing Specialist in Wales, talks about how to navigate your teen’s first time dating.

“They grow up so fast”. It’s a phrase we hear all the time, but when your child starts talking about crushes, first dates, or relationships, it really hits home. For many parents and carers, the idea of giving dating advice to a young person can feel daunting. You might wonder: How much is too much? What if I say the wrong thing? Should I let my child’s partner stay over? When is the right time to talk about intimacy? 

The truth is that the guidance of a trusted adult matters more than you might think. Young people today are navigating a world full of mixed messages about love, sex, and relationships. Hearing from someone who cares about them can help build their confidence, set healthy boundaries, and develop realistic, respectful expectations. 

Here are some top tips for navigating your child’s first relationship. 

1. Start conversations early 

Starting conversations about contraception, consent, and emotions early reduces risk and increases confidence. And normalising those cringey, blush-inducing moments helps young people feel closer to you, not pushed away. 

2. Keep questions inclusive 

At Brook, we believe that inclusive language helps all young people feel seen. When your young person starts exploring feelings or relationships, it’s important to use language that doesn’t assume or label. Open questions like, “how are things going with talking to people you like?” or “is there someone you’re thinking about?” give your child the freedom to express themselves without fear of judgement. Swapping “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” for “partner” can be a small but powerful way to show you’re open and supportive, whoever they’re drawn to. 

3. Build consent into everyday conversations

Talking about consent doesn’t just help keep your teen safe, it also helps them understand how they feel and whether they’re ready for a relationship, kissing or sex and whether that’s what they want. It’s about confidence and communication and learning that they don’t have to go along with something just because they think it is expected.   

Here are some ways to do this: 

• Model consent & respect: Asking your teen “is it okay if I give you a hug?” shows that checking in is normal and caring. 
• Talk about what consent means: Consent is ongoing and active – checking in, asking permission, and always listening to a “no”. 
• Set digital boundaries: If your child is flirting with or texting someone they like, remind them it should always feel safe and respectful – no pressure, and no sharing images unless they fully trust the person. Help them understand that once a photo is sent, it can be saved, copied, or shared without their control, even if it was meant to stay private. 
• Prepare for peer pressure: Discuss consent, and support them to come up with simple, firm ways to say no, or that they’re not ready. Reassure them that the right person will always respect their boundaries. 

4. Bring contraception into the conversation

Talking about contraception at home might feel embarrassing, or like a conversation for “later”: your child may still cringe if sex and intimacy are talked about at home, or you might feel like they’re not “ready” yet to have that conversation. However, sharing accurate information early helps your teen make informed choices when they’re ready, and using clear, shame-free messages now can make all the difference.  

Here are some key messages to cover: 

• Condoms are the only form of contraception that protect against both pregnancy and STIs and using them alongside methods like the pill or implant offers stronger protection.  
• Many STIs, like chlamydia, gonorrhoea, and HPV, often have no symptoms, so testing regularly and before new relationships is key. 
• Young people can access confidential contraception and STI testing at NHS sexual health clinics or services like Brook, even if they’re under 16, as long as the clinician feels they can consent. 

5. Offer both emotional and practical support

Emotional support matters just as much as practical advice. The teenage years can feel overwhelming, especially when it comes to relationships. 

Reminding your young person that you’re there for them, without pressure or judgement, creates a space where they feel safe coming to you with questions, worries or even heartbreak. Sometimes, just saying “whatever you’re feeling is okay” goes a long way. 

6. Set boundaries together

“Should I let their partner stay over?” This is one of the most common, and tricky, questions parents and carers face. There’s no single right answer, and what feels okay will depend on your family’s values, your child’s age, and your relationship with them. But it’s worth remembering: sex doesn’t only happen in bedrooms. Saying ‘no’ to sleepovers doesn’t necessarily mean your teen won’t be sexually active, it just means it might happen elsewhere, without your knowledge or support. In the same way that allowing their partner to stay doesn’t mean they’re having sex. 

If you’ve already built a foundation of open conversations around contraception, consent and respect, allowing your teen some privacy with their partner can be a meaningful way to show trust and encourage healthy independence.  

Some families find it helpful to set boundaries together. For example, whether doors stay open, or agreeing on times when partners are welcome. Whatever you decide, the most important thing is keeping those conversations going, checking in regularly, and showing that you’re a safe person to come to, no matter what. 

7. Keep the conversation going

What really helps is building trust over time. Keep repeating the message, “I know this stuff can be awkward, but there’s nothing you can say that will shock or scare me.” Follow up gently after conversations, “you seemed quiet after your date: just checking in, no pressure.” Let them know they can look up trustworthy information themselves, whether that’s on Brook’s website, NHS pages, or through school health services. 

Healthy dating starts with trust, respect, consent and clear information. For LGBTQ+ young people in particular, the teenage years can be formative in building self-esteem and feeling safe in their identity. Inclusive, shame-free conversations can be life-changing. 

Just like the work Brook does in schools across England and Wales is helping shift shame into openness, and encouraging young people to recognise their autonomy in relationships, talking about dating without judgement invites young people to be real with you. There might be eye rolls. There might be awkward silences. But these are bridges, not barriers, and they’re worth building.