what does it mean to be asexual or aromantic?

For Asexual Awareness Week (Ace Week) 2025, Kristin Käuper, PhD student at the Centre for Love, Sex, and Relationships (CLSR) at the University of Leeds and organiser of the Aromanticism & Asexuality Research Network, looks at what asexuality is, why we need an asexual awareness week, and how to support the ace people in your life.  

Asexual and aromantic people are often overlooked or misunderstood, even in conversations about inclusion. Asexual Awareness Week is a time to learn, listen and recognise that not everyone experiences attraction in the same way – and that’s perfectly valid.

While awareness and knowledge about the LGBTQIA+ community have increased considerably in recent years, especially among younger people, the letter A remains one of the lesser-known identities of the queer community.  

What does it mean to be asexual or aromantic?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation defined by experiencing little to no sexual attraction to others, while aromanticism describes the absence of romantic attraction. Attraction is complex, so it can help to think of it like hunger: sexual attraction is like craving a particular food – for example, chocolate. Most people don’t crave chocolate all the time, some crave it often, and some never do. In the same way, some people never experience sexual attraction.

Another way to understand asexuality is by clarifying what it isn’t.

Myth 1: Asexual people don’t have sex.
Not experiencing sexual attraction doesn’t mean someone never has sex. People may choose to have sex for many reasons – to feel close to a partner, express love, or simply because it feels good.

Myth 2: Asexual people don’t have a libido.
Attraction and libido aren’t the same thing. Many asexual people experience physical arousal or sexual desire, and some have sex or masturbate. Others don’t. Similarly, people who do experience sexual attraction (allosexual people) can still have a low libido.

Aromantic people and relationships
Aromantic people may not feel romantic attraction, but that doesn’t mean they can’t or don’t form relationships. Many enjoy deep emotional partnerships and close bonds, just not always in the traditional romantic sense.

The asexual spectrum

Asexuality exists on a spectrum. Some people experience attraction occasionally or only under certain circumstances. Examples include:

• Graysexual: feeling sexual attraction rarely or only in specific situations.
  
• Demisexual: feeling sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional connection.
  
• Aegosexual: experiencing sexual attraction that feels separate from oneself – for instance, enjoying sexual content without wanting sex personally.

The same applies to the aromantic spectrum. These distinctions help people understand and express their experiences, building connection and community.

Why do we need an awareness week?

Our world is built on assumptions about sex and romance – that everyone wants them, and that life without them is incomplete. From love songs and films about ‘the one’ to couple discounts and wedding invitations, society constantly reinforces that message.

This can make asexual and aromantic people feel invisible or left out of conversations about love and happiness. Yet an estimated 1–2% of people in the UK identify as asexual – and the real number may be higher, as many only discover the term later in life.

Awareness matters because it helps broaden our ideas of fulfilment, connection and identity. It reminds us that there are many ways to live, love and belong.

How to support ace people in your life

• Learn about ace experiences. Read, listen and engage with ace voices, especially those different from your own.
  
• Challenge microaggressions. Phrases like “You just need to get laid” or “You’ll change your mind” dismiss ace experiences – speak up when you hear them.
  
• Celebrate all forms of connection. Friendship, community and creativity are just as meaningful as romantic love.
  
• Use inclusive language. Avoid assuming everyone wants a partner or experiences attraction. Try not to ask questions like “Are you still single?” or “Are you two just friends?” which can make it seem like romantic relationships are always the end goal.

Over on our Instagram, we’ve shared everyday phrases and ways to make them more inclusive, plus recommendations for books and media featuring ace voices.