Depression

Depression is a mental health disorder. With depression you may feel sad, hopeless, struggle to feel joy or pleasure and you have no interest in your life or usual activities.  

Depression is one of the most common mental health concerns. In fact, around 5% of adults have depression. It is also commonly experienced alongside anxiety. 

It’s possible to have different types of depression or ‘generalised depression’. Many people who experience depression find it comes and goes throughout their life. 

Whatever type of depression you experience, it’s important to remember that’s not a sign of weakness. You should never feel ashamed of needing help and support. 

Depression doesn’t just mean low mood. It can have social, physical and psychological symptoms that impact every part of your life.  

Depression looks different for everyone: 

• People with severe depression may find daily life almost impossible 
• People with mild to moderate depression might find daily life harder but are still able to carry on. 

Depression has lots of symptoms which are different for everyone. You don’t have to experience all of them to have depression. 

Different types of depression: 

• Persistent depressive disorder (PDD): When you feel sad for most the day on most days for over two years. It’s also often called chronic depression. 
• Seasonal affective disorder (SAD): This type of depression comes and goes throughout the year. Often depression is experienced during the winter and not the summer, but it can be the other way around. More about SAD
• Antenatal depression: Depression that some pregnant people experience.  
• Postnatal depression: Depression that some new parents experience after the birth of a baby. 
• Menopausal depression: In the lead up to the menopause (known as the perimenopause) the hormone changes taking place in the body can cause depression for some people. More about menopause
• Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD): An extreme form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). PMDD is when people experience symptoms like depression in the week before their menstrual period. More about PMDD

More about the different types of depression

Mental health and sexual health are linked. You might find your sexual health impacts your mental health in the same way your mental health affects your sexual health. The important thing is being aware of this link and being able to get the support you need.  

Hard to be present: Depression can make you feel empty, disinterested and unable to experience pleasure, including sexual pleasure. You might lack connection to your partner or your own body. Or you might have too many negative thoughts crowding your mind. All of this can make it hard to be present (feeling engaging and focused in the moment) during sex which can make it harder to feel pleasure or orgasm.  

Not wanting sex: If it’s hard to enjoy sex or feel pleasure you might find you don’t want sex. Depression can also make you feel self-conscious, tired or negative. With these feelings, you may not want sex and that’s okay. Some types of medication for depression can make some people uninterested in sex. If you think your medication might be affecting your desire for sex, it’s worth talking to your GP or healthcare professional as they may be able to suggest a different type of anti-depressant.   

Difficult to become ‘turned on’: You might find it difficult to get aroused (‘turned on’) physically. This might mean you can’t get or maintain an erection if you have a penis, or you may experience painful sex if you have a vagina.  

More about painful sex

If this is how you feel then make sure you talk about it with your sexual partner(s). Communication about how you’re feeling will help you both manage each other’s expectations and understand how to support one another.  

Depression is not a sign of weakness. You should never feel ashamed of needing help and support.  

Keep a mood diary

 It’s really helpful to have an idea of your symptoms. You could track how you’re feeling each day in a mood diary for a few weeks and see if there’s anything that triggers your mood or if there are any patterns. This might be useful to bring with you if you have an appointment with your GP.  

Talk to someone

It can be difficult to speak to someone for the first time about how you’re feeling but this is a really important step to getting support.  

Who can I talk to? 

1. Friends and/or family: They can listen to how you’re feeling and support you to get help. If they know how you’re feeling they can try and make things easier for you. For example, if you’re supposed to meet a friend but aren’t feeling up to it, your friend will be far more understanding if you cancel if they know why.  
2. Someone who knows what you’re going through: Talking to someone that knows what you’re going through can help you feel less alone. It also means you can support each other. If you don’t know anyone personally, there are lots of organisations that offer support groups or simply someone to talk to: 
   Mind have an online community where you can talk to others as well as support groups 
   Depression UK have a penfriend scheme 
   CALM have a helpline 5pm-midnight 
3. A trusted adult: If your depression is caused by school or exams, talk to a trusted adult, maybe your favourite teacher or form tutor. They should be able to tell you who in school can help you and might be able to request some adjustments to make things easier. 
4. Your manager and/or colleagues: If your depression or low mood is impacting on your work, talking to your manager and colleagues can help them understand what you’re experiencing and there may be ways they can support you. 
5. Journalling: Writing down how you feel on paper can have a similar effect to talking to someone. Often seeing your thoughts written down can help feel that you’ve got it off your chest or help you understand your thoughts better.  

Self-care

For mild depression, small acts of self-care can have a big impact on how you’re feeling. Here are some things that might help you manage your depression or low mood.

• Put yourself first – Take some time for yourself to do the things that bring you joy. They don’t need to be big things, it could be as simple as watching your favourite TV show, eating your favourite foods or taking a bath. 
• Build up your self esteem – the NHS has a self-esteem self-help guide that helps you work through how to improve your self-esteem 
• Plan your time- if you find it hard to do tasks or feel overwhelmed, it might help to plan your day in advance. Try to stick to your plan and don’t forget to allow time for hobbies, exercise or relaxing.  
• Distract yourself– Distracting yourself with other activities can help improve your mood.  For example, activities like exercise or getting creative can help you take your mind off things.  

More examples of self-care

Help from organisations and professionals

Medication

Anti-depressants are a type of medication that can help with depression. Usually, they aren’t recommended for mild depression unless all other methods have been tried. Medication doesn’t address the root cause of depression, so normally people will try lifestyle changes and therapy at the same time.  

Within 1-2 weeks of taking antidepressants you should begin to feel a difference. If you don’t notice a change in your mood after four weeks, go back to your GP as they may suggest a different treatment or increase your dose.  

If you decide to stop anti-depressants, it’s important you talk to your GP as it’s best to slowly reduce your dose over time instead of stopping suddenly.