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Everyone’s experience of depression is different. Learn about what depression can look like and where you can get help.
Depression is a mental health disorder. With depression you may feel sad, hopeless, struggle to feel joy or pleasure and you have no interest in your life or usual activities.
Depression is one of the most common mental health concerns. In fact, around 5% of adults have depression. It is also commonly experienced alongside anxiety.
It’s possible to have different types of depression or ‘generalised depression’. Many people who experience depression find it comes and goes throughout their life.
Whatever type of depression you experience, it’s important to remember that’s not a sign of weakness. You should never feel ashamed of needing help and support.
What’s the difference between depression and feeling low?
Everyone will experience symptoms of depression at some point. But the main difference between depression and low mood is that, with depression, your low mood lasts for a few weeks or months and impacts your day-to-day life.
You can often improve or solve your low mood through things like getting better sleep or solving a problem. Whereas, to manage depression, people often need extra support.
If you find that your life is often affected by low mood, it’s always worth getting help, whether you think it might be depression or not. You do not need a diagnosis of depression to get help.
Depression doesn’t just mean low mood. It can have social, physical and psychological symptoms that impact every part of your life.
Depression looks different for everyone:
Depression has lots of symptoms which are different for everyone. You don’t have to experience all of them to have depression.
Suicidal thoughts
Not everyone that experiences depression will have suicidal thoughts but if you do, make sure you talk to someone- whether that’s someone you know or a support organisation like The Samaritans who you can call anytime for free on 116 123.
Different types of depression:
More about the different types of depression
Mental health and sexual health are linked. You might find your sexual health impacts your mental health in the same way your mental health affects your sexual health. The important thing is being aware of this link and being able to get the support you need.
Hard to be present: Depression can make you feel empty, disinterested and unable to experience pleasure, including sexual pleasure. You might lack connection to your partner or your own body. Or you might have too many negative thoughts crowding your mind. All of this can make it hard to be present (feeling engaging and focused in the moment) during sex which can make it harder to feel pleasure or orgasm.
Not wanting sex: If it’s hard to enjoy sex or feel pleasure you might find you don’t want sex. Depression can also make you feel self-conscious, tired or negative. With these feelings, you may not want sex and that’s okay. Some types of medication for depression can make some people uninterested in sex. If you think your medication might be affecting your desire for sex, it’s worth talking to your GP or healthcare professional as they may be able to suggest a different type of anti-depressant.
Difficult to become ‘turned on’: You might find it difficult to get aroused (‘turned on’) physically. This might mean you can’t get or maintain an erection if you have a penis, or you may experience painful sex if you have a vagina.
More about painful sex
If this is how you feel then make sure you talk about it with your sexual partner(s). Communication about how you’re feeling will help you both manage each other’s expectations and understand how to support one another.
You should never feel that you owe someone sex or have to have sex
If you don’t want sex, talk about this with your sexual partner and explore ways they could support you to get help. Sex should always be pleasurable, enjoyable and something you want. More about safe, enjoyable sex.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. You should never feel ashamed of needing help and support.
It’s really helpful to have an idea of your symptoms. You could track how you’re feeling each day in a mood diary for a few weeks and see if there’s anything that triggers your mood or if there are any patterns. This might be useful to bring with you if you have an appointment with your GP.
It can be difficult to speak to someone for the first time about how you’re feeling but this is a really important step to getting support.
For mild depression, small acts of self-care can have a big impact on how you’re feeling. Here are some things that might help you manage your depression or low mood.
More examples of self-care
Your GP can help you find the best treatment for you. This might be referring you to specialist services such as counselling or therapy or prescribing you anti-depressants that may help.
Your GP can refer you to talking therapies (a form of counselling) on the NHS but you can also refer yourself for talking therapy – you do not need a diagnosis of depression.
There are long waiting lists for mental health support, including talking therapies, which may mean you may have to wait a few months. In the meantime, there are support organisations that you can speak to including support groups.
To avoid the long waiting lists, you can pay for counselling privately if you are able to. You can search counselling directories to find a counsellor for you based on what they specialise in.
There are other types of therapy that may be better suited to you if you find that cognitive behavioural therapy doesn’t work for you. However, these are unlikely to be available on the NHS.
Some employers also offer free employee assistance programmes. Often these include counselling support. Contact the Human Resources team of your organisation to find out more.
CALM: Helpline (0800 58 58 58), webchat and information about mental health
Samaritans: 24/7 helpline (116 123)
Depression UK: Guides and support with depression
Anti-depressants are a type of medication that can help with depression. Usually, they aren’t recommended for mild depression unless all other methods have been tried. Medication doesn’t address the root cause of depression, so normally people will try lifestyle changes and therapy at the same time.
Within 1-2 weeks of taking antidepressants you should begin to feel a difference. If you don’t notice a change in your mood after four weeks, go back to your GP as they may suggest a different treatment or increase your dose.
If you decide to stop anti-depressants, it’s important you talk to your GP as it’s best to slowly reduce your dose over time instead of stopping suddenly.
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