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Although most people will experience anxiety at some point in their life, everyone’s experience is different. Learn about what anxiety can look like and where you can get help.
Anxiety is feeling worried or scared and is often in relation to something that might happen or that is going to happen in the future. It is one of the most common mental health concerns and is often experienced alongside depression or low mood.
Everyone will experience anxiety at some point in their life; often it is caused by life events or situations like sitting exams, money problems, moving house or changing jobs.
Some people are more likely to experience anxiety than others. For example, LGBT+ people are more vulnerable to anxiety because of bullying, stigma and discrimination.
Other people might find that their level of anxiety is excessive for the situation, or they may feel anxious without a trigger at all.
If anxiety is making it hard to live your day-to-day life, maybe it’s making you avoid situations, stopping you from doing the things that you enjoy, or it is causing you a lot of distress, then it could be considered a mental health problem and you might want to seek help from a professional.
However, you do not need to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder for your experience of anxiety to be valid and to get support.
Anxiety might cause you to:
If you find your anxiety is affecting your everyday life it’s really important that you get help. It might feel like there’s no escape from anxiety, but it doesn’t have to control your life.
Although anxiety is an emotional state, it also brings a lot of physical symptoms. As well as feeling tense, alert and worried, you might also:
Panic attacks are bursts of intense anxiety. During a panic attack you might feel overwhelmed, fearful and you might sweat, shake, feel sick or be unable to breathe. Panic attacks can be distressing but they temporary (usually lasting 10-20 minutes) and aren’t life threatening even though it can feel like it. One way to overcome a panic attack is by focusing on the present moment.
You don’t have to experience anxiety to have a panic attack but they are more likely. Unlike panic attacks, anxiety attacks tend to last longer and are usually caused by a trigger whereas panic attacks may have no obvious cause.
Anxiety can take many different forms including:
This is a long-term condition that affects up to 1 in 20 people in the UK. With generalised anxiety disorder, your anxiety may not be triggered by anything in particular, instead you may find you feel anxious most days, although some days may be worse than others.
This is a long-term fear of social situations whether that’s meeting new people, buying something from a shop or going anywhere busy where you feel watched.
This is where you experience unwelcome thoughts, images or ideas and the only way to deal with these obsessive thoughts is to do repetitive actions like washing your hands or checking doors are closed. If may find that if you don’t do these repetitive actions, or do them in a certain way, you may worry that something bad will happen.
Anxiety can cause panic attacks but panic disorder is when you’re experiencing panic attacks frequently and without an obvious cause.
More about the different types of anxiety disorders
Mental health and sexual health are intricately linked. You might find your sexual health impacts your mental health in the same way your mental health affects your sexual health. The important thing is being aware of this link and being able to talk about it and get the support you need.
If you’re having trouble controlling racing thoughts, you may not have the head space to want sex and that’s okay. With anxiety, your body is feeling tense and under threat. You might find then that your libido (desire to have sex) decreases as you’re not feeling safe and relaxed.
You might also find it difficult to be present during sex which can make it harder to orgasm and to enjoy it. Annoying thoughts may keep popping into your head like “did I lock the door?” or “I can’t believe I did that today”.
Or your anxiety could be around sex itself:
These are very common concerns. If you are worried about sex, make sure you talk about it with your sexual partner. Communication about how you’re feeling will help you both manage each other’s expectations and understand how to make sure you both have a good time.
you should never feel that you owe anyone sex or have to have sex
If you don’t want sex, talk about this with your sexual partner and explore ways they could support you to get help. Sex should always be pleasurable, enjoyable and something you want. There’s also no right time to have sex for the first time so if you’re feeling not just nervous but anxious about it, it might be that you’re not ready yet. More about safe, enjoyable sex.
Anxious thoughts can manifest themselves physically as well as affecting your desire for sex. You might feel mentally ‘turned on’ or aroused but your body might not be.
Treatments for these conditions can be more complex and are likely to require a mixture of lifestyle changes, therapy, exercises, and sometimes medication.
For some people, the possibility of catching an STI makes them anxious. There is still stigma around STIs, which can make people panic if they start showing symptoms or if they lack friends and family that can support them.
Remember: STIs aren’t something to be afraid of – most are easily treatable and won’t impact on your health in the long term if caught early. That said, it’s important to practise safe sex and minimise your risk of getting an STI. Using a condom, avoiding sexual contact when you know you or a partner has tested positive, and taking PrEP to reduce HIV risk (if you’re at high risk of contracting HIV) can all help to protect you from STIs and reduce any anxiety you might have.
Anxiety is very complicated as it looks different for everyone, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be treated. There are things you can do to try and manage your anxiety yourself – many people find that self-care is enough to help them take control of their anxiety. But you can also seek support from a professional if you are struggling.
Examples of what self-care might involve
Mental health life hacks for young people
Talking to people that you trust is one of the best things you can do to try and manage your anxiety. It reminds you that you are not alone, and you will probably find that other people have also struggled (or maybe even are struggling) in the same way as you and you can support each other.
Friends and/or family: they can support you to get help, listen to how you’re feeling and can try and help reduce your anxiety. For example, if you find your anxiety has made you spend less time with your friends, by talking about it with them you might find ways to make this easier like meeting in quieter places or on days when your anxiety isn’t as bad.
Someone who knows what you’re going through: you’ll likely find that lots of people you know have anxiety without you knowing. Talking to someone that knows what you’re going through can help you feel less alone and mean you can support each other. There are also anxiety support groups if you don’t have anyone close to you experiencing anxiety or online support groups
A trusted adult: if your anxiety is caused by school or exams, talk to a trusted adult, maybe your favourite teacher or form tutor. They should be able to tell you who in school can help you and might be able to request some adjustments to make things easier.
Your manager and/or colleagues: if your anxiety is around work or is worsened by work talking to your manager and colleagues can help them understand what you’re experiencing and you might be able to find ways to lessen your anxiety for example having regular check-ins, amending your role, sending agendas before meetings etc.
Sometimes simply writing down how you feel can help relieve some of your anxiety. Seeing your worries written down on paper can help put them in perspective and feel that you’ve given them enough attention and now can try and push them to one side.
‘Mindfulness’ is a term that’s used a lot these days in different contexts but in its simplest form it means using techniques to focus on the present moment. These techniques might involve:
While mindfulness does help a lot of people, it doesn’t necessarily work every time you feel anxious or for everyone.
Exercise of any kind can help with anxiety. It releases “feel good” hormones, it makes you more tired so you can sleep better, as well as helping you to focus on the movement of your body and breath. Exercise doesn’t have to be energetic to feel these benefits, even a walk or dance to your favourite song can help.
It can be daunting taking that first step to getting help but the sooner you get help the easier it’ll be.
Your GP can explore different options to help you including referring you to specialist services such as counselling or therapy or prescribe you anti-anxiety medication that may help.
Generally, when your anxiety levels are being assessed, your GP or another health professional may ask you how often you’ve been struggling to stop or control worrying, avoided certain places, and felt nervous or on edge over the past couple of weeks. You’re then given a score based on how you rank yourself on each question and this will then determine how high your anxiety levels are.
It’s important to remember that this is a standardised test to help health professionals assess your needs and does not define how much you may personally be or have struggled with anxiety in the past.
Your GP can refer you to talking therapies (a form of counselling) on the NHS but you can also refer yourself for talking therapy – you do not need a diagnosis of anxiety.
There are long waiting lists for mental health support, including talking therapies, which may mean you may have to wait a few months. In the meantime, there are support organisations that you can speak to including support groups.
To avoid the long waiting lists, you can pay for counselling privately if you are able to. You can search counselling directories to find a counsellor for you based on what they specialise in (e.g. LGBT+ or faith-based anxiety).
Some employers also offer free employee assistance programmes for their employees. Often these include counselling support.
There are lots of charities that support with mental health offering someone to talk to, counselling, support groups and help and advice:
Anxiety UK: UK charity offering support with anxiety. Information and advice, online courses, therapy at reduced cost, helpline.
Mind: Support with all mental health conditions. Information and advice, online peer support, free counselling.
NoPanic: Support with anxiety disorders including panic disorder and OCD. Information and advice, helpline.
Young Minds: Information and guidance for young people experiencing mental health problems
100% free & confidential