If you are under 18, please make sure you have your parents’ permission before providing us with any personal details.
Most men have problems getting or staying hard at some point in their lives and it doesn’t necessarily mean a loss of interest in sex or that there is something wrong. Most of the time, erectile problems are due to stress and are temporary.
It’s normal for erections to come and go during sex. Porn often shows guys going on for a very long time. Don’t compare yourself to this because most of the time it doesn’t show how real sex works.
But if you or someone you know can never get an erection (even during the night or when you wake up), then consider going to see the GP or a sexual health clinic because something else may be wrong.
Things that affect erections include:
When masturbating, try focusing on the sensations you are feeling. When you get hard, let your erection go down. Try masturbating till you get hard and let it go down again. This may help you become more aware of how your body reacts to different sensations and help you keep your erection.
Most erection problems are related to how you think about erections. Ask yourself these questions:
Now do the same for the times where you have been able to keep erections. Do you notice any differences between the times where it’s been easy or hard?
Other things you can do. If you find you worry during sex about your erection, try taking deep breaths to relax yourself, really focus on the fun that you’re having and remember the times when you’ve had good enjoyable sex and been able to stay hard. If you can, talking to a partner can help by making it less stressful.
If you want more information on dealing with erection problems, a good book is: ‘Overcoming sexual problems’ by Vicki Ford.
You can also see your GP or visit a sexual health clinic such as Brook for more information.
Zoi, 21, shares her story of how body disassociation has affected her relationship with masturbation and sexual intimacy.
Charlotte, 20, shares her journey of becoming comfortable with masturbation and understanding what pleasure means to her.
100% FREE & CONFIDENTIAL