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It can be difficult when your parents/carers separate or get a divorce and it can bring lots of big changes to your life.
Sometimes people who are married or in long-term relationships decide to get divorced (end their marriage) or separate. There are many reasons for divorce and every situation is different. Some couples may grow apart, or there might be issues that cannot be resolved such as cheating or abuse. The process of separation or divorce is different for everyone – sometimes it can take a long time and be very complicated and sometimes the process more straightforward and feels like it is happening very quickly.
The important thing to remember is that it is never your fault if your parents or carers decide to get divorced or separate.
There are many things you might be feeling if you’ve just found out that your parents or carers are separating or getting divorced. You might be sad, shocked and angry, or if your parents were arguing a lot or had an unhealthy relationship then you might also be feeling relieved. You might feel a combination of all of these emotions, which can be confusing, but is completely normal.
There are many different ways of coping that can help you work through your emotions and settle into a new routine
It is normal to feeling hurt, betrayed, anxious and lonely, but remember there are people and organisations who can support you through this if you are struggling to cope.
You might find that talking to a friend or another trusted adult is a good way to deal with your emotions. If you have siblings you might find you have different reactions to your parents’ divorce but talking to each other can be a really valuable way to support each other.
You can also talk to organisations like Childline who are there to listen and help you through any worries.
Asking your parents/carers any questions you have with help reduce any worries you have.
You could keep a mood journal or write down any worries you have. That way you can reflect on how you’re feeling and give yourself space to explore your emotions.
However you are feeling, you should never feel guilty about the divorce and it does not affect the way your parents or carers feel about you.
It can be hard to cope with the changes that might come as a result of your parents or carers separating or getting divorced. These can include:
Often your parents or carers will decide who you live with, based on what is best for you. This might mean you only see the other parent at the weekends or certain times.
Sometimes it is too difficult for your parents or carers to make that decision, and they will get help from a lawyer, social worker or mediator. This might seem scary but this person is there to make sure that the right decision is reached and that you are safe.
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