Breaking Barriers with Dr Naomi Sutton

Doctor Naomi Sutton, a Sexual Health Consultant and the Doctor on E4’s The Sex Clinic, is on a mission to improve sex education so that we can all enjoy healthy, happy sex lives and relationships. She talked to Brook about the barriers we still need to break and offers advice for overcoming these.

Many people are reluctant to visit a Sexual Health Clinic. I have worked as a doctor in the field of sexual health for fifteen years, but I write this not only from a medical perspective, but also from the perspective of a woman and a parent who is subjected to the same societal and media pressures as everyone else – so I do understand.

Everyone will have a slightly different attitude to sex, which starts forming in early infancy, and is very much influenced by our upbringing, cultural background, and personal experiences.

Talking about sex and communicating openly about our needs and desires can be difficult and embarrassing, but when we don’t, we are much less likely to have a fulfilled, happy and healthy sex life.

To this end, I would encourage readers to consider where their own feelings about sex stem from and to consider if they are healthy or unhealthy. If any thoughts are causing problems, can I encourage you to seek help: either in person at a sexual health clinic, via your GP, or have a look at the numerous resources produced by Brook.

All thoughts can be reshaped with education and an open mind – I know this because so many of mine have been considered and adjusted over the years, and I am a happier and healthier person for it.

Barriers to accessing sexual health care are numerous, many being indistinguishable from accessing any other type of care, such as money, time, transportation, communication difficulties, and disabled accessibility. The added ‘barrier’, which becomes evident time and time again in my clinic, is that of perceived stigma and shame about needing to attend in the first place. This is misplaced.

Those who look after their sexual health are intelligent, sensible, responsible and should be applauded, not shamed.

You cannot know if you have (or haven’t, hopefully) got a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) unless you have been screened, because all STIs can be present without symptoms. You cannot tell who might have an STI simply by looking at what they wear, what job they do, how they talk, or the colour of their skin. Differing groups of people have different risks to consider depending on the type of sex they have, but ANYONE having unprotected sex can contract an STI.

All treatment and care is free and confidential and all STIs can be treated or managed. This includes HIV which, with treatment, is now a chronic manageable infection and people living with this virus can expect a normal life expectancy and cannot transmit this infection to sexual partners.

Some people are worried about being examined, which is understandable – our bits are private. However, in most cases you don’t need to be. The only time we might want to examine your genitals is if you have symptoms. Please be aware that this is our bread and butter. This is what we do! We look at genitals every single day, so please don’t worry about whether you have shaved, or have groomed, or whether it’s cold outside (for those with penises!), or any other range of the mumbled apologies I hear every day. You have nothing to be sorry for. We also provide hormonal contraception, free condoms, and PrEP to those who need it… why would you not come and see us?

Having talked about stigma and shame as a barrier to accessing sexual health care and sometimes preventing us from having the sex lives we want to have, I am keen to prevent the next generation from being dealt the same fate.

There is now a wealth of evidence which shows that talking to children openly, and providing the facts, and discussing the issues, can enhance children’s resilience, improve decision making, and give children self-knowledge, self-acceptance, and self-confidence. It’s likely that your parents did not talk to you openly about sex, or you had poor (or non-existent) sex education at school.

If you want to change this as a parent or educator, please check out Outspoken Sex Ed (www.outspokeneducation.com), which is an amazing website from which I continually learn, and also www.youbeforetwo.co.uk/videos/ for videos I made in collaboration with the charity ‘You Before Two’ for use in schools (13+). Many people who come to see me in my clinic don’t know how big the average penis is, or what a normal vulva looks like, or what vaginal discharge you should expect in your knickers at the end of the day.

Education about what is ‘normal’ is so important so we can recognise when things change and seek help

In my fantasy sexual health utopia, I would love to see sexual health screening and discussion of sexual health issues (for which there are many) to be a normal part of a healthy existence, not a matter to be embarrassed or apologetic about.

Please get screened, get help, read, talk, and explore your thoughts. We are here to help.