Don’t Let the Vivienne Westwood Pearls Fool You: Gay Men Face a Mental Health Crisis  

Jack Liepa, 23, is National Director of Sexpression and runner up for the LGBTQ+ Graduate of the Year 2023. In this blog, he explains why there’s a mental health crisis facing the gay community and how inclusive Relationships and Sex Education can play a vital role in tackling this. 

You’d be forgiven for thinking that the gay community (and I mean gay men specifically rather than the wider LGBTQ+ community) in the 2020s have nothing to be concerned about. After all, legal equality has been all but achieved with decriminalisation, equalisation of the age of consent, employment protections and gay marriage being passed in succession over the last 50 years. Drag Race UK is now a flagship programme on the BBC and every weekend in summer, there’s a pride event happening somewhere.  

As the stereotype goes, free from the overt homophobia of previous generations, gay men have sashayed along to Beyonce in our short shorts and Vivienne Westwood pearls to become the linchpins of the aspirational zeitgeist. Seemingly located only in the fashionable quarters of Britain’s most happening cities, our queer eyes are the perfect example of popular culture whilst the greater disposable income and time from having no kids lets us dance the night away to Kylie before hitting drag brunch the next day. On this assumption, there is nothing left to be done for the gay community but wear a progress pride flag in June and stop asking one’s gay friends whether they’re a top or bottom (sometimes the answer is neither!). Yet, much like the illusion of a drag persona, we should be careful not to take appearances as reality.

Although incredible progress has been made, the gay community still faces significant issues and now is the time to make further progress, not regression. 

 For many gay men, behind the polished Instagrams, immaculate appearances and cosmopolitan lifestyles lies poor self-esteem, anxiety and shame which frequently manifests in risky behaviours. ​​We are at greater risk of sexual health problems and are more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviour, in particular the very risky practice of ‘chemsex’. We are more likely to have problems with drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. Our mental health is worse and we are at greater risk of mental health problems including depression, suicide ideation and suicide. Often, the immense pressure many gay men feel to maintain the image of perfection only compounds the underlying issues. 

The cause of these difficulties is multifarious. Much of it stems from prejudice in society or bullying experienced as an adolescent. ​​One in five gay men (who don’t also identify as trans or nonbinary – for trans and nonbinary people, the figure doubles) experience a hate crime in the last year. Meanwhile, a 2021 study found LGBTQ+ young people are twice as likely to be bullied in schools as their peers and over 90% of LGBTQ+ young people heard negative comments about LGBTQ+ people.

Another factor is the stress of being a marginalised, small community.

It is emotionally exhausting to be constantly worried about looking gay or outing yourself for fear of retribution every time you are in a public space.

It is no wonder two fifths of LGBTQ+ young people go back into the closet when they enter the workplace and many LGBTQ+ people still won’t hold a same-sex partners hand in public for fear of public backlash. Yet, the cost of presenting a façade of heterosexuality is exhausting in itself, leaving many gay people with few good options. Moreover, with heterosexuality still the default, gay men are still living their lives as the Other; gay young people are still having to ‘come out’ and will need to do again and again throughout their lives in an extensive work of emotional labour. In essence, the discrimination and Othering gay men experience is driving a crisis of mental health in gay men. 

It is this crisis that makes LGBTQ+ inclusive education so important.

Firstly, LGBTQ+ inclusive education promotes tolerance and it reduces bullying. Secondly, LGBTQ+ inclusive education is validating. It may sound trivial but representation is important. By including LGBTQ+ content and representation in the curriculum, it tells gay people and the wider LGBTQ+ community that they are not unusual or ‘broken’, and it reduces the shame and stigma which precipitates the mental health issues plaguing gay people and the wider LGBTQ+ community.  

With this in mind, it is terrifying that LGBTQ+ inclusive Relationships Education was recently debated in Westminster Hall .Not only does such a debate fall into the prejudiced trap of believing discussing gay people at school is somehow inherently inappropriate but such restrictions on content will deprive young people of the representation and validation which prevents bullying and promotes wellbeing.  

As we await the publication of the draft RSHE draft guidance, the potential for age restrictions on content is equally concerning. We put age restrictions on things like alcohol, cigarettes and pornography because they can be harmful. If we were to do the same for LGBTQ+ content in the curriculum, it implies they are similarly harmful or inappropriate for young people, once again telling a generation that being gay is something to be ashamed of. This stigma will only be compounded if teachers are placed in the uncomfortable situation of being unable to answer questions asked by young people below the ‘appropriate’ age.

Quite simply, moves to remove LGBTQ+ content from the curriculum pose a direct threat of exacerbating the mental health crisis gay men and the wider LGBTQ+ community faces.  

Legal equality might, for all intents and purposes, have been achieved in the UK. However, gay men like myself, and indeed the wider LGBTQ+ community as a whole, face a crisis of mental health compared to our heterosexual counterparts that stems significantly from the prejudice and lack of acceptance we face socially. Inclusive education is key in addressing the problem and I hope the new guidance reinforces the importance of teaching content that celebrates all young people from all types of families.