How does teaching young people about pleasure keep them safe? 

For #SHW23, we’re Playing It Safe. In this blog, Brook Education and Wellbeing Specialist Alice Hoddinott explains how teaching young people about pleasure keeps them safe.  

As conversations around sex and sexuality become more open and inclusive, it is increasingly important to educate young people about pleasure. This education goes beyond the physical aspects of pleasure; it includes understanding your own body, learning your likes and dislikes, and figuring out where your boundaries are. 

Teaching young people about pleasure is not about encouraging them to have sex but about giving them the knowledge and self-awareness to make informed decisions, communicate effectively, and prioritise their wellbeing.  

One of the key elements of teaching young people about pleasure is helping them understand their own bodies.

This means educating them about their anatomy, reproductive health, and the diverse spectrum of sexual orientations and identities. Understanding your own body is a fundamental aspect of self-awareness, and it means young people are ultimately more empowered to make informed decisions about their own lives. 

Self-awareness and empowerment also come from individuals exploring their own desires and boundaries, something which is an important part of sexual development. When young people are taught to embrace their feelings and emotions, they can better determine what they enjoy and what makes them uncomfortable. This knowledge enables them to make choices that align with their own preferences and avoid situations that could lead to harm or discomfort. 

One thing we really want to support young people with is their communication skills, and teaching about pleasure does just that.

Being able to discuss desires, boundaries, and consent with partners is essential for building healthy relationships and these types of conversations can help prevent misunderstandings, coercion, or non-consensual situations, promoting safer and more consensual encounters. 

Within the wider scope of communication, we also want young people to feel empowered to say “No”.

Understanding their own boundaries and desires equips young people to assert themselves confidently. Teaching them that it is okay to say “no” when they are not comfortable or ready for sex is vital. This skill helps with setting boundaries and ensuring that they only engage in activities that they are comfortable with and that they consent to. 

Teaching about pleasure is also an opportunity to discuss safer sex. If we are worried about our physical health during sex, then we are less likely to have enjoyable and fun experiences. Framing pleasure within education about contraception and sexually transmitted infections is a powerful way for young people to learn the importance of not only keeping themselves safe, but keeping their partners safe too.  

Alongside understanding the interaction between physical health and pleasure, there’s also an important link between mental health and pleasure. Understanding your own body and being able to communicate effectively in intimate situations can significantly boost self-esteem and confidence. This confidence can go beyond the bedroom and positively impact many aspects of a person’s life. It can also help reduce the shame and stigma that still exist when thinking about pleasure. Reducing stigma can have a great effect on young people’s mental health, as they less likely to internalise negative beliefs about themselves and their desires. 

Research tells us that exploring and experiencing pleasure in a safe and consensual manner can lead to positive emotional wellbeing. The release of endorphins and the positive associations with pleasurable experiences can help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, contributing to better overall mental health. It is important to talk to young people about this, not to encourage them to engage in sex, but to continue to remove that stigma for them and to reassure them that sex is fun and should feel good! 

Whilst it may feel uncomfortable and scary at first, teaching young people about pleasure is an important part of their sex education.

Thinking about pleasure as more than just the physical act of sex and instead understanding it in terms of exploring your own body, preferences, and boundaries, helps to create an honest and open way of communicating which ultimately keeps young people safe. By promoting self-awareness, communication, and positive emotions, we empower young people to make informed decisions, navigate consensual relationships, and prioritise their safety and mental health. This ultimately supports young people to lead healthy and fulfilling lives.