Getting a divorce

You haven’t failed. You made a decision that perhaps wasn’t right, or it was right at the time but things have changed. That’s ok. It’s life, and things do change. You’re still young!

Instead of concentrating on all the negatives and wishing you could change things, take some ownership of the breakdown of the relationship and learn from it. Use the divorce to teach you what you can do differently in future in order to develop long-lasting, healthy relationships (if you want to). Read more about breaking up.

No doubt all your friends are on dating apps and encouraging you to create your new profile. While this is all probably very tempting, just make sure you spend some time working on your independence and discovering who you are. It’s likely you’ve been in a relationship for most of your adult life so learn to be alone and to love yourself before you let anyone else in.

There is lots of support available to help you throughout your divorce.

Relate offers advice and information including common divorce problems, managing legal and money matters, and what to expect from mediation (this is where someone helps you to come to an agreement).

Gingerbread also offers lots of advice about how to manage divorce and separation if you have children, including how to support children and communicating with your child’s other parent.

If you’re frustrated, angry or upset you might be tempted to vent on social media but instead you should confide in your trusted friends or family. You will probably regret sharing such personal information and once it’s out there you might never be able to take it back. Additionally, anything you post on social media can be used as evidence so think twice. 

You might have days where you feel relieved and ready to start your new life and you might have days where you just want to scream or cry. This is what your friends are for. Make fun plans with friends like going for walks, cinema dates and visiting free galleries and exhibitions. If you’re experiencing loneliness after your divorce then now is the perfect time to meet new people. Read our tips on dealing with loneliness.